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Thursday 14 April 2011

Culmination

There are a few reasons I haven't blogged so far this week: problems with my internet; problems with my M.E.  But mostly stress as I hand in my final project (a.k.a. my dissertation).  Yes, two days ago I handed in the very final piece of work for my degree.  And as I don't have any exams - I guess that makes me finished.  Okay, so technically I'm still a student until the end of June, but for all intents and purposes, I'm finished.  I have completed the thing that I've spent my last three years leading up to.  I have completed my degree.

And honestly it's left me feeling a bit disorientated and lost.  I have been a student my whole life, and now...now I am not.  I am no longer a student.  Neither am I employed.  I am in that weird space in between.  I don't know what my future will hold and part of me can't wait to find out.  But another part of me wants to stay still, stay where I know what is expected and what I am doing.  So I am compromising - I am not going to stay still.  But nor am I going to rush forward and miss the present.  I am going to take it a day at a time and watch my life unravel.  After all, I still have my writing and crafts and other life stuff to keep me more than busy.

Every day now I have to remember that I'm starting something new; and that while my feelings of fear are completely rational, I will not let them govern me.  But for the next week or so, I am simply going to take a deep breath of relief and try to relax.  I need to let my body and mind recover from the past three years and prepare for the future.  A future I will share within this space - just in case you're interested.  

1 comment:

Kess said...

Congratulations!

I think you're right to take a little time out and not rush into anything. That way you can start to think about the next steps you wish to take and begin making the necessary plans and preparations.