A Library Theatre Performance

You know how much I love libraries; but you may not know I also love theatre. I do love acting and performing, but even more-so there is little I find as thrilling and magical as watching a performance. When I was younger I remember my dad taking me to amateur theatre productions quite often (I believe it’s one of the main reasons I love Shakespeare as I was watching it long before I had to study it at school), and pretty much every performance inspired me and made me think about or reconsider something important to life.

I didn’t ever expect these two passions of mine to come together (though admittedly where I used to live, the only theatre was in in the upstairs of the library, but they were still separate); so when I saw a theatre company was visiting a library near me, I jumped at the chance (and it’s a testament to my family that a few of them wanted to come with me). I didn’t really know what to expect as didn’t really know anything about the company Librarian Theatre or anything about the performance ‘The Book’s The Thing’ beyond that it is a retelling of Shakespeare’s ‘Hamlet’.

I was blown away. 

With a cast of just 3, this incredibly innovative company reminded me just how much I love theatre. As it was in a library, it was a very intimate performance, with the cast directly addressing members of the audience (and giving props and clothes to those unlucky enough to catch their eye), and taking inspiration from their surroundings. This created a very strange and unique experience but really made you feel like part of the performance. Personally I just loved everything about it (and my family seemed to, too). The cast are incredibly talented, so it was easy most of the time to differentiate between characters. And while most of the script keeps the Shakespearean language, it was reworked in such a way to easily follow the story-line without as much back story babble you usually have to sit through. In short, I loved it (in case you couldn’t tell!), and I came away feeling inspired and excited.

The fact it was performed in a library was really the icing on the cake. I love going to the library and browsing the books (and undoubtedly borrowing a few despite the never-ending TBR piles around my home), and hate that due to cuts libraries are becoming more and more likely to shut. As a future (fingers-crossed) librarian, I do worry by the time I’m able to work, there either won’t be anywhere to work, or the entire job will be done by one or two people and the rest by machines, so that this theatre company has chosen to support local libraries by performing in them, really speaks to me. Libraries should be places of community, safety, and inspiration, where everyone is welcome and anyone can find something, and I strongly believe it is through companies like Librarian Theatre that libraries can reach their potential in offering so much more than books (not that there’s anything wrong with books of course).

‘The Book’s The Thing’ is currently in London I believe, but regardless if you missed this play (it’s now coming to the end of it, unfortunately I didn’t know about it for most of the tour), If you are in the UK I strongly recommend keeping an eye out on this new and unusual company Librarian Theatre as I can only imagine what they will come up with next.

[I was not asked to review this performance and I paid full-price, just wanted to share my views on it.]

Babies are Cute ??!

The first baby I found cute - my baby brother (2008)

I have never been a fan of children. I think even when I was a kid I didn’t really like other kids - partially due to bullying, but most likely because I preferred the company of a book. The worst though are definitely babies and toddlers. To be honest, I don’t fully understand why anyone would want one - they make a lot of noise, can be really annoying, and in general just look deformed as their features are all out of proportion (in my mind anyway). So yeah, there are very few babies and toddlers I would classify as ‘cute’.

The other day, though, I was out eating lunch and there was a baby looking at me and he was cute (the dad was quite yummy as well), to the point that I waved at him (the baby) and he broke out in this incredible smile which in turn made me smile. The more I thought about it, the more I realized this has been happening more often recently - me finding babies cute! Okay, so they stop being cute the moment noise comes out of them, and they have to have hair to qualify, but it’s weird for me to imagine wanting to be near anyone that young for any amount of time (hence being a Scout Leader and not a Beaver or Cub Leader).

Perhaps it’s just a hormonal thing (which is easy for me to believe as my body has been doing weird things these past couple of weeks), or perhaps I’m just growing up. Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t want to have a baby, and I still find the majority of young children really irritating.

But finding the occasional baby ‘cute’ gives me hope that I’m not such a terrible person after all; and believe me, the looks I get when I say I don’t like children you would think that I’d just told them I was going to kill all babies (which is ridiculous as I have no idea how I’d go about that without them starting to scream and I don’t want to be near that).

Anyone else out there who don’t usually find babies and young children cute?

Meat Mondays (26/1/15)

I realise the title and day might confuse some, but as I rarely have energy at the end of the day to form a proper sentence, I decided Meat Mondays doesn't necessarily have to be written and posted on Mondays; after all, if I were to post earlier in the day, I wouldn't have eaten the meat to write about. It will still be called 'Meat Mondays' though, as the actual meat eating happens on the Monday.

So for the past week I have felt a little lost in this world of food that has suddenly opened up for me. It's a lot like getting an expansion pack for the Sims and being faced with too many choices for what to focus on first, ending up avoiding playing anything new at all. To make sure I at least tried to keep eating meat, I went for a simple solution - buying something in a tin.  Turns out this was a terrible idea.

I wasn't feeling great after eating a sausage roll for lunch (though part of that may be due to a food hangover from Sunday), especially as the greasy, oily texture wouldn't leave my mouth no matter what else I put in it. Then in the evening I had what can only be described as the least appetizing bowl of meat in existence. It was, supposedly, beef stew with dumplings. The dumplings were a huge help in managing to eat any, as were the hot rolls I decided to have with it. In general, it was bad. I guess I should have known this; other than soup, I rarely eat meals out of tins as they just aren't the best quality, but I panicked. Having all this choice and not knowing where to turn, I clearly made the worst possible choice. Part of the problem is I don't want to get anything fresh as I'd have to do my shopping on either Sunday or Mondays for that to work, and it's very difficult finding meat for one that can be cooked fairly quickly and simply (many of my carers seem incapable of reading, or listening to, instructions and unless I have the energy to watch or help, I've found the safest option is to go with something that's almost impossible to screw up).

There are ready meals though, and I think this might be where I turn to next. Of course, I don't have a clue what most of the food is, unless there is a vegetarian alternative (such as lasagne or shepherd's pie), as I don't really remember what my mum served up before I was a veggie. Unless someone can give me some hints in the comments, I will likely go for things I sort of recognize, at least until I get a grip on the whole eating meat thing.

On the plus side, it is a weirdly liberating not to have to read the ingredients list on sweets and yoghurts to ensure they're vegetarian. I think it'll be a long time before I remember I don't have to look at the ingredients, but at least I'm not automatically checking for gelatine before considering buying them. This week I had wine gums which were so much better than I remember them, and surprisingly more-ish. That mixed with the gunky feeling of oil and too much food in general, didn't lead to the best experience, but hopefully it can only go uphill from here.

Words and Thoughts on Words and Thoughts

Lately I have started quite a few blog posts but they’ve only been half-thought out. So I come back to work on them, and instead of becoming clearer in my mind, they simply grow and morph into so many different points and thoughts and ideas I have no idea what I originally started out to say, let alone how to go about breaking these ever-growing well-written mind-dumps (I honestly can’t think of a better word to describe these pieces of writing) into individual blog posts. I have an idea yet somehow it gets lost in the next one and the next one, leading me to become confused. And if the writer is confused I have no doubt that unleashing these semi-formed monsters onto the interwebs would possibly detract from everything else out there, let alone actually add to it.

As a blogger I know I want to create meaningful pieces, and thoughtful pieces, and the occasional random observation to share as posts. But as a writer (and being me) I want to explore ideas and concepts and words. So far there shouldn’t be a problem, but once I get started on the exploring my hands run away with it (via typing, as opposed to my fingers running akin to the hand in Addam’s Family) and anything meaningful or thoughtful or observational gets lost in the pathway to wherever I might be heading – it doesn’t help that I haven’t got there yet so can’t even backtrack,  but I have a feeling that if I were to wait, I wouldn’t get there til my last breath which is leaving it a little late to start working out what the heck is/has/will/was go through my mind.

If I continue typing there is a very high chance this will end up just like the other posts I’ve started in the past few weeks, meaning I’ll never get to share it as I’ll be too busy getting lost under the deluge of words. So, just this once, I’m taking a breath and posting without reconsidering or pondering or generally continuing it into infinity, just so you know I haven’t forgotten you, my lovely readers, I’m simply trying to divide the masses of material I’ve suddenly acquired into something remotely understandable.  (If you have any tips on how to do this, I’d love to read them in the comments.)

Meat Mondays

Those who know me, know I’ve been a strict vegetarian for over 15 years. Those who know me really well, however, will know that for the past year I have been toying with the idea of eating meat.

When I was 11 I became vegetarian because I was concerned with how animals were kept, and in particular, killed. After about 10 years it became less about ethical reasons and more because it was part of who I was, my identity.  So seriously considering eating meat again threw me off a bit; I didn’t know what I wanted.

I believe in being true to myself, and the idea of not being a vegetarian felt as if I was turning my back on who I am. Last week I realised that if I want to eat meat then that’s who I am now. I was worried about not being true to myself, but in truth I was simply holding on to the person I used to be. A lot has changed in the last few years, and I guess this is just one more change. I never expected to eat meat again, and it’s taking a lot for me to take this step as I have a lot of pride and I dread to think of the reactions I’ll get, but I’m sure in time whatever happens will simply become the ‘norm’.

As I haven’t eaten any meat or fish (Even though I want to, I’m still not going to eat fish as I disagree with how they’re killed so can’t bring myself to) for so long, I’m going to take it very slow. On the blog-o-sphere there is “Meatless Monday” and so I thought I would do the opposite and have “Meat Monday” and only eat meat on Mondays just to see how it goes.

I have always said if anything was going to tempt it would be a ham sandwich (though in all honesty I can’t remember why) and so today that’s what I was going to have for lunch – the first meat I’ve eaten in 15 years or so. Actually, ham was the very last thing I ate when giving up meat at 2 weeks after eating vegetarian I caved and ate about half a pack of sliced ham in secret. Somehow the ham I bought got lost on the way to the fridge, but as I visited a friend, she kindly made me one. I had to bookend my vegetarianism with ham as I refused to eat anything else first. I also bought some sausage rolls (the shop didn’t have pork pies which is what I actually wanted), some chicken soup for dinner, and some jelly babies.  Even though looking at, considering, and buying meat, all feel completely weird to me, at the same time I know this is the next step in my life – I don’t know whether I’ll hate it or love it, but it’s time for me to make this change, at least for a little while.

So today I’ve eaten a ham sandwich, which tasted good though left a strange oily texture as an aftertaste.  I had some spinach and chicken pizza for dinner, still not sure what I thought of that; and some jelly babies, which honestly were not enjoyable.

Let me know if you want to follow my journey into eating meat, and post every Monday with my thoughts, let me know in the comments. Also I’d love to know if there’s anything you think I’ve been missing out on as a vegetarian.

Band Aid 30

As usual I am behind the rest of the world, only becoming aware of the Band Aid 30 single 'Do They Know It's Christmas?' last night, and the subsequent backlash today.

I'll admit I used to have an issue with celebs making a big deal of raising for charity, but these days it is expected of them. However, I never really thought of Do They Know It's Christmas? in that way, simply because the original is one of my favourite Christmas songs.

When I listen to it, I'm not looking down upon those in famine, natural disaster, sickness, etc, I'm just being reminded that there are so many people who are struggling. As a listener, I don't worry about which Country (or Continent) the song is directed at, or why those Countries can't solve their own problems (after all, people are dying of starvation in the UK, so we're certainly can't judge).  I don't care how 'patronizing' the lyrics are (personally, I've never thought of them as such), nor who is singing what.

All this controversy is just political correctness gone mad, unfortunately a term I use a lot.  And it is a shame we are more interested in pointing fingers and blame, than appreciating that the money is being raised.

Because, at the end of the day, all that matters is that the money is being raised, and progress is being made. Who cares why, or how, as long as something is being done.  And Band Aid 30 has made me more aware of the ebola virus, so I'm struggling to see how that is a bad thing.

So watch the video.  If you like the song download (buy) the song or put it as your ringtone. Donate if you want to.  And ignore the judgement and just enjoy it for what it is.

Silence

When I moved into my flat one thing I didn’t like was I could barely hear when it rained unless it was absolutely chucking it down.  Today I realised I haven’t been sitting in the right place or allow enough silence to truly let the rain be heard.

In modern society there is no such thing as silence.  We are constantly being bombarded by music, strange noises from our phones, having the TV on ‘in the background’ – and that is just inside the house.  The only time I am really quiet is when I’m reading, and honestly I that isn’t completely silence as my mind is being filled with someone else’s words and thoughts.  And that moment between putting down the book and deciding what to do next, that moment that is only filled with silence, is not something I look forward to.

I find silence disconcerting. I don’t know how to feel or what to do when it’s too quiet, so I fill up my days with as much noise as I can find.  It’s not exactly intentional, but it’s become something necessary to feel calm and safe.

Because silence isn’t safe. Silence forces us to listen to our own thoughts without any outside input; it forces us to truly take stock of how we’re feeling. And, unfortunately, because we are so busy filling our lives with noise, we don’t always notice how run down we are, and we don’t want to know. So we fill our lives with noise.

There isn’t really a point to this post, it’s simply an observation.  I thought about making it a point that I’ll try and have my silence in my life (because I will), but honestly I don’t know whether noise isn’t just as important.

Do you make intentional time for silence? Have you found it to be helpful, or does it not really make a difference?

My Past and Future

Perhaps it's because I'm so ill, I have a habit of romanticizing the past. 

With the way my life is now, there isn't much marking time for me. Seasons are changing and half the time I don't even notice because I'm sitting inside my cosy flat, only aware of the world I am a part of through my laptop screen.  

Today I watched a video that reminded me it is fresher's week at Universities across the country.  Worse, it made me remember a few years ago when I was at uni, one of the happiest times of my life.  I'm aware I was happy because I was fairly healthy and able to go out, I had wonderful friends, and later, a wonderful boyfriend. 

Of course, I wasn't aware at the time (at least not all the time) I would remember it as being the happiest time of my life. I had depression, and I struggled to balance my life.  But that time is what I now associate happiness with.  While initially being reminded of that time hurt because it's something I no longer have, and while I could spend all my time wishing I could back, the past is the past.  It's a time in my life I can never go back to; and honestly I don't want to.  

Instead, I'm focusing on my future. Right now my health isn't great, but every day I try and remember the hope I have for my future.  I know it won't happen overnight, and I know it's not something I can simply wish into happening, but every day I can use that hope to take a small step forward to the future I want, a future filled with happiness.  I can't even imagine what that future will look like, but I know it's going to be amazing.

And I'm so super excited at the prospect of new experiences, new friends, new love.

Moving...to the Sofa

For the past year or so I have done everything in/on my bed. It has become my place to sleep, eat, watch Netflix, go online, read, stitch, etc (you get the idea). This week I have finally moved over to the sofa. It’s less than three steps away (or it would be if that side of the bed was tidy!) so isn’t far. But to me the sofa is a whole new world to explore. The main reason I wanted to move away from living in my bed is to try and recondition my mind to know that the bed is for sleeping and resting only (okay, and acts of nakedness); I’m also hoping it will help with some of the back ache I get from slouching on a bed all day.

 So far it seems to be working, though it still feels unnatural to sit on the sofa ; it’s still a decision I have to make every morning.  But I have noticed I am already a lot more motivated, especially in sorting out the flat (progress is slow, but at least it’s being made). The only real issue is the window is now directly behind me so at certain times of day I have to shut out the natural light if I wish to see the screen of my laptop; and I haven’t quite worked out the most comfortable position even with all the cushions I have to help me.

Moving from the bed to the sofa might seem like a tiny insignificant step, but for me it is a step towards the life I want to be leading. They say the only way to create change is to do something different, and so here I am, sitting on the sofa.

Angry and Frustrated

The other day I noticed I haven't been  my usual, happy self recently. To be honest, especially around strangers I've been rude and crotchety.  Of course, this isn't how I want to be, as I've always made it a priority to smile and be pleasant as doing so can have incredible (and wonderful) effects on others, and even if not, you know you've done your best to improve their day.

The problem is, even though I've become aware of it, I still feel a churning anger and frustration inside me. As it's so big, it has become hard not to just react in that way whenever someone irritates me (and to be honest, at the minute, most people irritate me).  I'm hoping it's just hormones and it will go away soon, as this is not the person i want to be.

Until then I'm going to try and tame my temper and smile at everyone no matter what. Do you have any tricks to keep yourself pleasant when you really don't want to be?

A New Interest

If you follow my book blog Captivated by Books, then you'll know that this week I've been participating in a read-a-thon, and yesterday I finished a collection of short stories by H.G. Wells.

I've wanted to read The Time Machine for quite a while now, after all, it's an iconic story that everyone's heard of; so when I saw it sitting on my shelf at my parent's I picked it up. I have to admit it wasn't what I expected (mainly because I'd seen a film of it that wasn't remotely like the story), and nor was it my favourite story in the book.  However, the whole book itself has opened up my world.

The way in which Wells tells his stories, and the imagination of those stories is just incredible.  I've never been that into science-fiction beyond Doctor Who (so excited for the new episode tonight, but as I don't have TV will have to wait til it's on iPlayer); I think I likely discarded it in my teens for some reason or other. But now I'm realising my tastes may have changed to include science-fiction. Of course I'm aware that not all writers and stories are created equal, but I'm finding myself desperate to lap up any sci-fi I can find, particularly in the form of books and TV shows. I've started watching Stargate Atlantis (as it's on Netflix) ,which a few years ago I wasn't remotely interested in; I don't know if I like it yet but am giving it a fighting chance.

The thing is, I don't really know what sci-fi is out there. So this post is mainly to ask for suggestions of authors or books or shows or films from those of you who already love science-fiction.  And the other part of this post is simply to share my new enthusiasm. Don't you love it when you discover something 'new' that just lights up your mind? I know I do, and I'm so glad I decided to finally read some Wells - I will definitely be reading the rest of his works.

Facebook and the Past and Future

Lately I have started spending more time on Facebook,.  While I've been on Facebook for years, I only really used it for games and photo sharing and organising events.  Somehow over the past couple of months, I've begun using it to be a part of discussions - both in groups and on status's. This has led to me updating my status occasionally and sharing my views, and honestly I think that's why I haven't been blogging as much - it's not that I can't think of anything to say, but that I have already said it in a condensed version somewhere else.  But I love blogging, so don't worry, I will likely always find my way back here.

On Facebook at the moment, many people seem to be using something called 'Time Hop' which is an app that shows you what you've posted to your Facebook wall on the same date in previous years, and then reposts it for you.  This might just be my friends, but I doubt it.  However, I refuse to use it, simply because I don't want to live in the past; I am much more excited about the present and the future.  If we all just post what we've posted before, what new content will there be, both now and if you continue using 'Time Hop'?

There is nothing wrong with looking back and remembering and learning from the past.  But if that's all we focus on, we cannot move forward as individuals or as a society.  I don't know about you, but discovery is one of those things that energizes me. I love watching documentaries, not because I want to follow the past, but because I need the new (to me) information. I need to keep learning and exploring, and I cannot do that if I only look back.  I also happen to think that we live in an amazing (if slightly terrifying) fast-paced world where change is happening quicker than ever. I might not be the first to try out new phones or ipods, but that doesn't mean I'm not looking forward to seeing where we're going.

So this post did sway a little from my topic in the last paragraph, but that is what I love about writing and blogging - I can start in one place and it will lead me to a choice of many paths of ideas.

Do you use Time Hop? Either way, let me know what you think of the constant deluge of the past we seem to keep posting on  places like Facebook.

Melded Days and Hope

Lately my days, weeks, and months are melding together. Multiple times a day I have to double-check what day it is, as it never feels like the day it actually is any more. And now that Scouts have finished for Summer, there is nothing to remind me when it's the weekend. Of course, most of my days are the same - resting, reading, writing, resting, sleeping, watching TV shows or films, resting, creating, etc - so it's not a big deal, but I still find it irritating to not even be able to remember what day of the week it is.

The last time time slid like this for me, was the end of my first year at University, one of the happiest times of my life (I was able to sleep and go out when I felt like it, and had just started dating Chris).  Right now there are many reasons why I'm not as happy now as I was then, but I've found this melding of time means it's a lot easier to accept life and my limitations.  I know it's not a sustainable way of living, but for now I'm letting time glide by me as it's both relaxing and rejuvenating me, and has made space for hope to creep back into my life.

Harriet the Spy: Blog Wars

I have just watched Harriet the Spy: Blog Wars. Of course, I am biased in loving the film starring Michelle Trachtenberg (1996 version), but have to admit that anything about Harriet Welsch always gets me in the mood for writing.  When I was younger I even had an A4 notebook marked 'Private' and went out to 'spy' on my neighbours, though I was never as impressive in my tactics as Michelle Tractenberg's Harriet, but she was my inspiration.

Harriet the Spy: Blog Wars includes many of the same characters (though I was deeply unimpressed with 'Golly') with similar attributes, but that's pretty much where the similarities of the films end.  Blog Wars is clearly an attempt to modernize a story that honestly doesn't need it; although in retrospect I will admit that many of the moments of the 1996 stretched the credibility (but I also have to admit that these moments were a large part of the attraction to the film).  I have to say that I went into the film quite cynical, and other than the character of Harriet Welsch I think I'll stand by that.  I was pleasantly surprised to enjoy Jennifer Stone's Harriet and found her to be an irritating teenage girl that struggles with the same problems in life as all other teenage girls.  In Blog Wars she is vying to write the class blog (as opposed to the newspaper) and when her first few posts aren't well-received she decides to 'stretch the truth' by writing about a famous actor whom she claims to know personally (when in actuality he is working with her father).  I have to say I was disappointed with the climax as it wasn't nearly as intense as the 1996 film, and honestly, it implies at the end that Harriet didn't learn her lesson.

Okay, so I wasn't planning on writing a mini-review, or even a comparison between the two films (as I said, I simply get inspired to write by Harriet Welsch), but apparently that's what you're getting today.

The Importance of Each Photo

Over the past few days I have spent a lot of time editing hundreds of pictures (taken over the past 7 months) that were sitting on my laptop or locked into my camera.  As I have gone through them, I noticed how I'm finally at a point where I feel comfortable deleting a lot of the photos; I am still learning to be completely ruthless but I'm definitely getting there.

In the past photos were only taken of special occasions, and while I love taking pictures of life, I think the importance of a physical memory that our descendants can look at, is easily forgotten. I am grateful to live in a time where photo-taking is as simple as a press of a button (though, it has to be remembered, can also be deleted at a press of a button as I discovered during my trip to Paris at school) and I wish there were more photos of me when I was younger.

I love taking photos, and I love having a lot of photos documenting my life (though unfortunately, being behind the camera means I'm not actually in many).  However, I feel that with digital cameras it's now so easy to take photos and that's it, most of them will sit on a camera, phone or computer until they are lost. It has become so easy that we forget how important a photo can be.  It is easy to acquire thousands of photos that will never see the light of day - either because they aren't any good, or simply because there are many that capture the same moment, a few seconds apart.  It is this latter category I have difficulty with deleting, but I figure that I'm only going to want one version of that moment to be printed out for my albums.

So I'm learning to give the important photos the respect they deserve by deleting the rest. With so many pictures, it is easy for the great ones to be lost among the many; it is with this thought that I will continue editing and deleting my photos, ensuring to have no photos I'm not one hundred percent happy with (okay, ninety-eight percent as a hundred percent is probably a little too much to be asking of someone who knows nothing about photography).

Do you keep all the photos you take? Do you get them printed out?

Stepping Through the Past

It feels like forever since I last posted (though in reality it's only a couple of weeks). For the past week especially I have been trying to figure out what to write about, what to say. And the longer I didn't post, the harder it was to think of something worthy of breaking the (unintentional) silence. It feels as though I should update you on what has been happening in my life, and at the same time make sure to impart something meaningful and insightful - all while not boring you.

Then I realised that it shouldn't matter what I write, as long as I write something. So that's what this post is, something. It's not deep or explanatory, or remotely interesting, but at least it's better than not posting anything.  So this is the post that will hopefully let me take another step forward with this blog, as I refuse to let it die after so many hours (more like days and weeks) I have put into this space.

Needless to say I don't know where I'm going. I know I've said it before, and I'm sure I'll say it again. That's just what life is though, not always knowing or even having a plan, but trusting in ourselves to take a step now and then in the direction that will become our past.

This post ended somewhere I wasn't expecting, but these words feel right for where I am at right now. I need to believe it doesn't matter that I don't know what's in store for me. Rather, I am excited to find out where my path will lead.

And with that note, I think it's time to stop worrying so much about what I do and don't write about, and just post this as another step in my past.

Hot Weather and Determination

At some point over the past few weeks, Summer seems to have arrived. Unfortunately, it has taken with it much of my motivation.  In short - I don't really like heat, I am a Winter person.

However, I am determined to not succumb to doing nothing when I am able to do a little.  My mind never seems to stop buzzing with ideas and plans these days, which is something I want to take advantage of, but I'm also hoping it won't be long before some of these plans turn into reality. I am not the best at sticking with something, as once I get started there always appears something else to think about, but I'm doing my best by taking a few small steps each day which will hopefully build and lead me where I need to go.

That said, I'm also planning plenty of time for resting, even though this weather isn't conducive to it. The danger is partial resting; which isn't really resting, but feels like it is as I'm lying down, but as I'm watching or listening to something at the same time it is actually low-energy activity.

Does the weather affect you in a similar way?

Morning Expermentations

I have had the same morning routine – breakfast, coffee, reading, rest, get up properly – for the past few years. While I do still find it relaxing, I’m beginning to feel it’s no longer inspiring or productive. So I’ve decided to try experimenting with it a little.

This morning I’ve had my breakfast and coffee while playing Candy Crush and Sudoku on my phone (something that has snuck into my routine over the past year) to wake me up. But instead of picking up my book, here I am, writing this on my laptop. For the next week (at least) I’m going to try getting some writing done before properly starting my day; in the hopes I will actually start being a bit more productive again.  I miss getting things written, rather than just having notes flying around my notebook and my mind.  I have so many ideas and I need to find a way to make myself let them out.

My main worry is I’ll forget to read to during the day, as for so long it’s been something I start and finish my day with; but I’m sure I can find a way to work it into my day. On the other hand, I’m sure getting something written first thing (even if it’s just my 750 words) will inspire me to do more with each day.  After a week or so I will come back and see if I need to continue experimenting, or whether this new morning routine works for me.

Do you have a morning routine? How often do you stop and notice whether it’s still working for you?

Home Again

I got back home on Saturday night.  Since then I have wanted to blog, but honestly I don't know what to write. While I was away I was filled with inspiration and motivation, which was truly wonderful.  Some of it is still inside me, but to be honest, slipping back into habits (good and bad) seems to have been unavoidable since I got back.

It has taken me a few days to get used to being home, and I'm still not used to having internet again - I have a lot of tabs open right now - as I feel like I need to read everything right this moment. In some cases this has prevented me from falling into a chocolate stupor (even if I don't celebrate Easter, chocolate is still inevitable). In other cases it's been less helpful.

So yes, I'm still getting used to being home, especially as I have so many new plans and ideas from when I was on holiday. I'm certain I can implement at least some of these, but I'll probably have to find a way to stop going on Pinterest first.

De-stressing

As you've probably realised, this year I have been both up and down (sometimes all in the same day), and honestly I have no idea of where I'm headed or even what goals I want to have.

For the following two weeks I will be away on holiday with my family.  Apparently there is no internet signal where we are staying. When I first heard that I did panic a little as most of my life is online, but I also know that when it comes down to it, as long as I have books (so glad I have a Kindle now as it takes up a lot less space), cross stitch, and a way to write (paper and laptop), I won't really miss the internet.  In fact, I am taking this opportunity to spend some time with myself and with my family, away from the stresses of the every day. I want to say I hope it helps me work out where to go from here, but honestly I don't know where I hope it leads me, I guess we'll just have to wait and find out.