Help me Celebrate my Birthday

Help Me Celebrate my Birthday !!!!
JustGiving - Sponsor me now!

Tuesday, 22 February 2011

Losing the Self

This is a continuation of yesterday's post about playing at life.  Last night I was thinking about it and realised that it's more than just acting out my life.  I am acting out different parts: the student, the daughter, the girlfriend, the ill girl, the friend, the sister, the stranger, the crafter, the writer.  The list goes on.  And I think I've figured out my problem.

I don't know where the roles I play stop being roles and start being who I am, and vice versa.  I don't know who I am as a whole person.  I feel too fragmented, too split to be one person.  And that is why my life feels like a game sometimes. I am simply taking on a persona, someone who isn't me, but could be.  I no longer know whether I am acting a part or just being me.  I used to think that being many things was fine, that it was making me into a more rounded person (whatever that means).  Now I don't know.  I feel like I have lost who I am in the attempt to be many things.

What are your opinions on this?  Have you felt this way?  Do you have any ideas how I can find the 'real me' again?

No comments: