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Saturday, 24 April 2010

Rules of Being a Slob

1.  Do not get up till after midday, the later the better.
2.  Do not change out of your pjs or at least wear your baggiest, most unattractive clothing.
3.  Do not cook - eat either left-overs, breakfast cereals or snack foods (chocolate is compulsory).
4.  Feel free to drop your food down your front, over the floor, in the bed, on the sofa - wherever you happen to be eating (not the dinner table).
5.  Watch re-runs of any tv show that will make you feel depressed/weepy/jealous.
6.  When the characters don't do what you tell them to do, throw handfuls of food at the tv.
7.  Don't wash or brush your hair; leave it to matte and feel gross.
8.  Remember that you hate the world, you rebuff anything that involves sunshine or fresh air.
9.  Don't answer the phone but complain to the answer-machine that no one loves you when they don't leave messages, or the 'wrong' messages.
10.  If possible, don't leave the bed and carry out all your activities in that one place (except going to the toilet - that's pushing the limit), leave your mess to pile up so you can see it and remember that you are a slob.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Haha Bethany! This is exactly how I spent my day yesterday! I ate an ENTIRE cheesesteak while laying on the sofa, then proceeded to devour 2 ice cream sandwiches. I stayed on said sofa all day until about 4 PM, when I finally got up to go shower and go to Target with my mom. I love being a slob sometimes....with all the work I do during the week, sometimes it's a well-deserved break :-)