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Sunday 31 May 2009

The Wedding Ring

Today I went to a poetry reading and so it is almost with some shame that I begin this post. Surely in all that creativity I found something more important than a wedding ring to write about. But it hasn't only been today that I've considered this. The wedding ring, as far as I'm aware is an outward sign that you have made vows binding you to another, it lets us singles know that you're off the market and no need to think further than this. While today I wouldn't have been interested in any of the members there (through no fault of their own, simply a rather large age gap) I noticed how none of the men were wearing rings on the fourth finger of the left hand. This normally doesn't bother me - many people are unmarried or divorced in these times. But they were married. This is what confused me - they were openly talking about times with their wives, one even had his wife with him (sporting a wedding ring and an engagement ring on that special finger). So why weren't they wearing the rings. Granted, they may no longer be married for whatever reason - though that wasn't the impression I was getting. I just don't understand why it's totally acceptable for a man to not wear the ring when for a woman it would be unheard of.

I've never been big on marriage but that's my choice. I simply feel that those who chose this endeavour should at least carry it through by wearing a simple token - it can't be that hard to keep a ring on your finger. Unless I'm completely wrong (in which case I hope you take the time to leave a comment and let me know) there still seems to be a double standard where men and women stand. A woman who is married must show to the world that she has been spoken for; a man apparantly stands by no such expectation.


Anonymous said...

Hi Beth! I totally agree with you there. I don't understand why so many men appear to have an aversion to wearing a wedding ring. I certainly expect my husband to be to wear his!

I think part of it is that men on the whole don't wear rings, and so because they don't feel accustomed to wearing one they prefer not to, even after marriage! This was the case for my colleague, and so she made a point by refusing to wear hers, and ever since he has worn his ring too.

I think you're right when you say there's a clear double standard, and I think society's expectations of men and women do differ unfairly, even if they have improved over the last few decades! Great reflective blog!

Anonymous said...

*husband to be