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Wednesday 13 July 2011

Letting Go

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For the past week I have been slowly working my way through my childhood bedroom.  I have to be honest, it's been incredibly difficult simply because I have a lot of stuff.  I have always been a very materialistic person; I have a lot of random collections that started by having one or two things - some have gone out of control, others I grew bored of after a while.  Basically, this has left me with an incredible amount of stuff to sort as I move out.

Sorting it, for me, has been very draining.  Mostly because I see something and it reminds me of who I used to be, or something I loved when I was younger.  My gut reaction is to hold onto it so that I will always remember.  This has led me to the conclusion that I always used my stuff to define who I was.  And in a way it has been a relief to realise this.  Because I could hold on to everything that ever meant something to me, or I can let go of the stuff and just keep the memories, leaving me free to be who I am now.  Because the truth is I don't need any of this stuff.  And I don't even want much of it now. 

My life has been far too cluttered in the past, as I tried to cling to whatever went by.  But now I no longer need stuff to define who I am (okay, I need some stuff, but no where near as much as what I had).  I am still going to collect things, but only fairies (and anything fairy related) and windchimes.  This is a big step for me.  I feel that this decision to rid myself of the stuff pulling me down (and pulling up dust which is not doing my throat and nose a world of good) is a large weight off my shoulders.  I no longer have to worry about what I'll do with it, or where I'll keep it.  I will simply keep what I want or need and the most important memories and send the rest off into the universe (read: charity shop).  I see this as making space in my life for me.  I will define who I am from now on, not let my stuff do it for me.

And just because I know you're dying to know what collections I will be getting rid of, here goes: 2 large boxes of Enid Blyton books; Lord of the Rings figures; china doll collection; soft toy collection and many many books.  I'm sure I've missed out some (yeah, I had so many I can't even remember them all) but here's to a simpler, decluttered future.

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