Ann Summers Party and Cupcakes

Last weekend I went to my first ever Ann Summers party.  And of course, being me, I was in charge of the cupcakes (pictured above).

While I think I'm pretty good with the baking part (totally modest I know), I am not usually that good with decorating cakes.  That is actually the main reason I wanted to do the cupcakes for this party - I knew it would challenge me, but without the worry of what will happen if I fail (after all, cakes that look terrible, still taste just as good).  As you can tell, that was an unfounded worry anyway, and I'm super proud of how they turned out.  It was my first time using roll out icing (bought on Ebay!), and I got on okay with it once I figured out to make sure everything is coated in icing sugar so it doesn't stick.  I am looking forward to using it again, and getting better and better.  As for the ideas, I simply Googles 'ann summers cupcakes' and was rewarded with plenty of inspiration.

As for the actual party, I have to admit I was a little disappointed, though I definitely enjoyed myself and as it was a chance to see other people (even if I only knew the host), it rates pretty high on the list of what I've been up to so far this year.  And of course, having an excuse to bake (and eat what I've made), was certainly a pro-point.  In all, I would go to another if I was invited, but I honestly wouldn't care that much if I don't get to go to one again (and I'm sure my bank balance would probably appreciate it), as, to me, it simply felt like I was simply being shown the catalogue.  Okay, that is possibly a little harsh, as I was grateful for the chance to try on a couple of things before buying - but if I was a regular, healthy person, it would make more sense to go straight to a shop as that's the way to ensure you'll be able to try on the right size.

Have you ever been to an Ann Summers party?  Did you love it/hate it? Let me know in the comments.

Autumn

On Sunday Fall Autumn arrived.  One day it was sunny and hot, the next it was grey and drizzly; and it took me off guard.

Now, everyone knows I don't particularly like the heat, and that Winter is my favourite season.  This year, however, my first reaction to the change in the weather, was disappointment.  I wanted more sun.  I had finally got into the Summer mood, and enjoyed going out a couple of times a week (note: massive improvement from a few months ago).  And suddenly everything changed.  I am not looking forward to going out as it gets colder and wetter (the downside with having a scooter is that pretty much all of me gets soaked and it's not like I can use an umbrella).

I am glad to say that this disappointment didn't last long.  Of course I was hoping for more time before I had to worry about Christmas presents and decorations (I always want handmade but am never organised to do it - and I'm a firm believer that shops and the like shouldn't have anything Christmassy at least until November, so I wasn't impressed when I saw Christmas chocolates available at the grocery store today). On the flip side, a large part of why I hadn't been working on them (or anything else) as planned, was due to the ridiculous heat (like I said, I am not a fan of sweaty temperatures).

So Autumn has arrived.  It means there will soon be vegetables available to make stews and thick soups.  It means getting excited about Christmas (don't judge).  It means shorter days, with long evenings of reading with hot chocolate.  And it means beautiful colours.  All in all, once the shock of how quickly everything changed wore off, I realised that I haven't changed - I still love Winter the best (though admit to dreading being trapped inside if it snows), but can appreciate every season.

*Random note - Anyone else noticed I seem to be over-using Parentheses lately?

I Will Write

This post was inspired by looking at artwork on Pinterest, which is something I've only recently come across as usually I waste my time looking for craft ideas and recipes that I rarely manage to actually make.  It is unedited and the word vomit of how most of my ideas come to me.

The world is filled with incredible imagination.  Often I go looking for inspiration, and spend the next few days filled with wonder and amazement at all that I have found.  Unfortunately this also has the effect of me not doing any work of my own.  Usually I am hopeful to add my own creativity to the world, but then procrastinate instead of doing.  And other times I simply feel that I have nothing to add.  What more could possibly be needed?  I know that is a double-edged question and no answer will ever suffice.

The thing for me is that I believe in my ability to create amazing work.  But I don’t believe in my imagination to give me the fuel to create said amazing work.  I want to join the ranks of journaling and writing and all those things I find so inspiring; I even know how to.  I just find that I never do.

I know I need to stop worrying about it, and simply start doing.  It doesn’t matter how awful my first attempts at art are – no one has to see them after all.  And yet I find I can never start.  And so I procrastinate and look at the wonders of others, never contributing anything myself. 

But occasionally, every now and then, I start to write about it and that is enough for now.  I am writing something and the more I write, the more I continue to write.  I might not be able to add anything visual just yet, but words can be just as powerful, oftentimes much more powerful.  And so I will stop worrying about my inability to add my art to the world, and focus on the art I know I can do, the art that comes naturally to me.  I will write. (Hopefully much better articulated sentences, paragraphs and stories.)

Girl's Brigade: Memories That Have Made Me

So much has happened in my life already, and a lot of those experiences have stayed with me.  They are not all monumentous, nor are they all life changing.  But every single one of them (and the countless more that are buried deep within me) have made me who I am. 
 I hope others will join in with me and post their own memories on their blogs (or in the comments).  I will be posting mine every Friday, but it doesn’t matter when you write yours or if you wish to do them fortnightly or monthly – your writing should fit with your schedule.  If you do join I ask that you link to my blog with this link: http://emptythoughtsrewritten.blogspot.co.uk (until I’ve worked out how to create a button for you to display) and that you will link your POST (not just your blog link please) in the comments each week (until I’ve worked out how to make a linky thing for you to add your links to – I’m really not very tech-savvy!).

My Girl's Brigade in uniform

I have surprisingly few memories of my time as a member of the Girl’s Brigade, considering that I went every week for years.  Perhaps it’s because so much of it blends together that I can no longer pick it apart, because if I really concentrate I can remember snapshot images of many different things.

I remember the annual ‘camping’ trips where we actually stayed inside a Church, had chores, and always visited Pleasurewood Hills.  I remember the uniforms, and learning to march and having 20p to spend at the ‘tuck shop’ (penny sweets, Freddo bars etc).  Girl’s Brigade is where I learnt to crack eggs; tie ties and line dancing.  I am sure there are many more memories bouncing around inside my mind but there are only 2 that really stick out.

The first is actually the first night I went to Girl’s Brigade (at least in my mind it is, though that might not be true). They were making papier-mâché animal puppets using balloons.  I got the long, squiggly one to become a snake.  The reason it really sticks is because I am not one of those people who are happy to get messy (which is one reason I don’t usually like doing baking that involves using my hands), but one of the leaders clearly was.  She tut-tutted at my slow attempt of brushing the glue on the newspaper and promptly took it out of my hands and dunked it in the glue and insisted I follow suit.  As I was quiet and shy at that time (yes, I really was quiet and shy for most of my childhood and teen years), I didn’t dare argue with her, especially as it was my first night, and so tentatively followed suit until I was left alone.  Now whenever I think about papier-mâché that is what comes to mind.

The second is a sleepover. It wasn’t just our troop that went (in fact, I don’t think many of our troop did) so it was a chance to meet lots of other girls.  I don’t actually remember any of the details of the two days I was there, except singing the ‘Witch Doctor’ song (I have no idea which version I know as looking on Wikipedia tells me it’s been about since 1958, but it was popular at the time) with everyone in my room.  The thing is, I didn’t actually know the song – I wasn’t caught up on anything popular and didn’t listen to the radio much so it was completely new to me.  And so every single time I hear the song or, more often, get it stuck in my head, it takes me back to that room of strangers and feeling accepted despite not having a clue what they were going on about.

Even without being able to pick apart every memory of my life in the Girl’s Brigade, it was an important part of my life – anything that took up that much time has no other choice but to be I guess.  I don’t remember what it was like, or why I went every week; but when I think about all the (many, many) things I was a part of in my childhood, Girl’s Brigade will always be one of the first I think of.

At Pleasurewood Hills

Delayed Payback

One of the worst things about living with M.E. isn’t the pain and exhaustion I get from doing anything (physically/mentally/emotional), but the fact that these symptoms don’t always come straight away.  This is something that is the hardest to explain to others.

The problem with this is that I can end up doing even more when I think I haven’t been too badly affected by living my life, and so it can build up until suddenly I am bedbound and screaming in pain. Yes, this is an extreme example but it has happened to me in the past.

On Tuesday I was able to go to the cinema with my sister – this is one of the things I miss, and so a very big deal for me – but the really awful symptoms didn’t hit until Thursday, causing my sister to say ‘but you didn’t do anything yesterday’ which was sort of true, though I had spent longer on the laptop than I knew I should have.  I do seem to be getting better at resisting the urge to do everything at once when I have a ‘good’ day, but it is still a struggle for me.

Friendship: Memories That Have Made Me

So much has happened in my life already, and a lot of those experiences have stayed with me.  They are not all monumentous, nor are they all life changing.  But every single one of them (and the countless more that are buried deep within me) have made me who I am.
 I hope others will join in with me and post their own memories on their blogs (or in the comments).  I will be posting mine every Friday, but it doesn’t matter when you write yours or if you wish to do them fortnightly or monthly – your writing should fit with your schedule.  If you do join I ask that you link to my blog with this link: http://emptythoughtsrewritten.blogspot.co.uk (until I’ve worked out how to create a button for you to display) and that you will link your POST (not just your blog link please) in the comments each week (until I’ve worked out how to make a linky thing for you to add your links to – I’m really not very tech-savvy!).

A few years after finishing High School and Sixth Form, a couple of my closest friends from school were eating in the same restaurant as me.  When I finished my dinner I did the polite thing and went over to say hi and see how they were doing.  One of them started replying, but at a look from the other she stopped and they both physically turned their bodies away from me.  Now, I know that I wasn’t the greatest friend when in school, but I am still baffled by that response as I honestly have no idea what it is that I did wrong (and even more so as I’ve had perfectly civilised conversations with those I considered ‘enemies’ in school since then).

I knew I shouldn’t dwell on being snubbed so badly, but it turns out those feelings of anger and hurt aren’t that easy to turn off.  It is now years later and I finally feel that I’m over it.  I still struggle with knowing that the group of friends I was a part of in school still all get along and hang out – just without me.  I often wish I hadn’t been such a bitch in school, but there’s not a whole lot I can do about it now.  I would love to apologize to that group of friends, but knowing that they won’t even listen makes it that much harder.  Instead, I look at our prom picture (that I’m planning on hanging in my room soon) and feel blessed to have known them when I did.  I honestly hope that everything is going well in their lives.

The whole experience taught me to value friendship for the incredible amazingness that it is.  I am grateful to those few who have stayed in contact since High School, and who have always accepted me.  And every day I feel lucky that I now have a close group of friends who I see as my second family.  I might not get to see them all that often, but I know that I will be there when they need me and vice versa.

Are you still friends with those you went to High School with? 

Sunday Shout Out: Black Matpe Beans

Lately I have become a little more adventurous with food.  Part of this is due to Pinterest (honestly, I dare anyone to see all the amazing recipes on there and not be inspired), but a very large part is due to the fact that all the corner/local shops around me stock foods I've never even heard of.  My favourite store has an entire aisle of dried beans/pulses/legumes etc which is something I always want to use but never seem to be organised enough to do it (after all, there's that whole thing where you have to soak them overnight and boil them or they'll poison you); as well as pretty much every spice and herb you can think of.

So anyway, I took a chance and picked up a packet of dried black matpe beans.  I am already on my second packet which I think says it all.  These beans are quite small, dark in colour (though when soaked and boiled they turn the water a really disgusting green) and incredibly tasty.  So far I have used them for a pasta bake and a 'shepherd's pie' and I know I will be finding more and more uses for them as they are versatile and one of my favourite foods right now (the other would have to be sweetcorn which I have also fallen in love with).

I am so excited that I live in a time when I have access to every food under the sun, and more recipes than I could ever use; and am looking forward to continuing my discovering more foods and food ideas.

How adventurous are you with your food habits? Do you eat the same thing every week or do you like to try new things?  What's your favourite food at the moment?  Let me know in the comments.