Peace

For the past week I’ve been thinking how I need to write the typical end of year/new year post; but the truth is I didn’t know what I wanted to write. While I believe we can start again at any moment, I am not above being pulled into the hyper-awareness of past and future our society seems to perpetuate as the clock strikes from December to January.

This year hasn’t been great for me, in that other than writing plenty of letters, I haven’t achieved any of the goals I set at the beginning of 2015 – some of them I haven’t made any progress towards at all. It also hasn’t been a great year for me blogging-wise which you’ve noticed. After many attempts to get my book blog up and running, it has been left to melt from existence as this blog has for most of this year, which is a bit of a blow for me.  And since going to Holland with the Scouts in August, I haven’t been able to find the stability in my life (both physically and mentally) I depend on to manage my health.

So far it seems all dreary, but it isn’t. The past few weeks seeing my friends and family for Christmas made me realize just how far I’ve come this year. I went abroad. I can sometimes go about shops etc using a walking stick instead of a wheelchair; I can go out more than twice most weeks; and just in general I am doing so much more than I was a year or two years ago and I need to remember to be thankful for that.

So with all those thoughts running through me, today I watched Cloud Atlas for the first time. I have read the book a few times and it is definitely one of my favourite books of all time.  The film was a completely different experience and it left me feeling a great sense of calm but also hope for my future, for everyone’s future. It brought to mind how everything is connected in the past, the present, and the future. I’m not sure if I believe in fate, but I think that’s what I was feeling as I absorbed the film – that I can put my faith in fate and everything will turn out how it’s supposed to.

This is possibly one of the best things I could be feeling as we enter a new year. Not hope exactly, not excitement or panic or any of the multitudes of feelings we are told is what we will feel, but peace. So for tonight, and hopefully tomorrow and into the new year, that’s what I want to take with me and allow myself to radiate. Peace.

Honour not Glory

Last year I wrote about how war is just as devastating forthe other countries that fight, not just our own (particularly during the world wars) which was my reaction to the Padre at the Remembrance Sunday Parade Service. This year, my thoughts are once again a reaction to his sermon.

Mostly he talked about how we should honour and appreciate soldiers – those who’ve fought and those who are fighting right now. It seemed very important for him to tell us how noble they are, how they have chosen the right profession, how we should give ourselves to the service of peace in the same way.

I agree with the last part to a degree – I believe everyone should be aiming for peace in the world, though not through becoming soldiers (though if that’s what you believe is right for you then that’s up to you). For me that is little things like sharing love and hope and smiles (mainly through snail mail), but also things like signing petitions I believe in and, when I have something I feel is important to say, sharing it online.

I also agree we should honour those who have fought for our peace, despite the fact peace has never fully been realised (we can all live in hope).  But there is a fine line between honouring those who have died and suffered through war, and glorifying them and the act of war itself.  That is why I am a big believer in Remembrance Day – I think it’s important to remember how millions of lives were lost in the first and second world wars, as well as the losses people still suffer due to war. It’s important to remember and teach young people because it should never have happened but, maybe if we learn from it, nothing as bad as that will ever happen again (got to be honest, I don’t believe we as a species will manage that though). But I don’t think it should ever be held up to be a good thing. Pointless suffering and death, especially in those numbers, can never be seen as a good thing; it is actually one of the few times I will say the end does not justify the means (okay, if war had ever created worldwide peace and acceptance I might feel differently, but the truth is it hasn’t).

So I wear my poppy to remember, and to remind others of, the atrocities of our past; and not to uphold war as something to be impressed by, or even supported. I am no longer naive enough to believe we will ever not have war, but I live in hope we might find other ways of creating peace.

How do you try and share peace in your daily life?

Give it UPtober

So it is already October (I would say, where does the time go but unfortunately I know for me most of it has gone into using my little energy to battle illness and depression), and having come across GIVE IT UPtober on Facebook, I thought that it'd be a good idea to kickstart my month by joining in.

The general idea is to give up one luxury for the month and donate the money you would have spent to Invest in M.E. which is a great charity that uses most of its funds to do research into M.E./C.F.S. as so little is still known about it. Or you can just donate in support of those giving up things such as Facebook, or just because you believe in our cause.

I will be giving up Coca-cola. A few years ago I switched from diet cola to regular (I now mainly drink coca-cola life), and then cut it out of my life except for the occasional one at the pub. Somehow over the past few months it has slipped its way back into my life to the point of having mini bottles of the sugary stuff in my fridge. I need to stop drinking it as it's not really benefiting me in any way, and we really need research done so myself and the thousands of other sufferers can start living our lives again.  Despite the fact that both of those things are completely selfish, I am making myself feel extra virtuous by giving up a bad habit and supporting a charity by joining in to Give It Uptober.

If you wish to donate simply go to Just Giving, or text GIUT88 (£1 to £10) to 70070 E.g. GIUT88 £5

July Round-Up

POSITIVE STUFF

Blog Posts: 0 (not including bookish posts)

Books Read (Links to my Reviews): The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo; The 100 by Kass Morgan; Harry's War by Harry Drinkwater

Achievements: Regularly posting on my book blog Captivatedby Books

Goals Progress:

Letters Written: 0

Meals Made: 0

HEALTH

Good Days: 3

Okay Days: 11

Physically Bad Days: 10

Emotionally Bad Days: 4

Physically and Emotionally Bad Days: 3

Panic/Anxiety Attacks: 1

RANDOM

Cups of Coffee: 46

Films Watched: Back to the Future Trilogy; Tank Girl

Most Watched TV Shows: The Next Step; Warehouse 13; Continuum

Interests/Obsessions: None

Links: 'You're not as Sick as You Say You Are' Stop Doubting our Pain

June Round-Up

Please bear with me as I work out the best way to keep track of everything for these round-up posts. I haven't included my good/bad days in this one as forgot to write them down, and have decided to cut the number of cross-stitches as recording them took almost as much time as stitching, so instead if I make noticeable progress with my cross-stitch projects I'll include them in achievements.

POSITIVE STUFF

Blog Posts:

Lying and Reading Recipe Books

Books Read:

Dodger by Terry Pratchett; Up West by Pip Granger; Down the Wormhole by Ana Franco

Goals Progress:

          Letters Written: 1

          Meals Cooked: Marinated Chicken Thighs

HEALTH

Panic/Anxiety Attacks: 1

RANDOM

Cups of Coffee: 32

Films Watched:  None

Most Watched TV Shows: Once Upon a Time, Orange is the New Black, and Orphan Black

Interests/Obsessions: Watching planner videos

Lying

I think one of the reasons I have such difficulty creating fiction is that for the majority (especially on TV) the main conflict is the result of lying. I personally don’t understand the point of lying. Yes, I have lied in the past, but as I got older I realised there was no point in lying (especially if it was going to cause a conflict as I’d learnt from TV and novels). 

I know people lie, but I struggle to understand why they do so. Obviously there are some things such as cheating etc, which is a lie created by lust, but if that’s what you need in your life then why can’t you discuss it with your partner first (if they reject the idea, then accept that or leave – don’t lie to them). And there is lying to protect someone, but unless it is a life or death situation (which I’m guessing the majority of people will never experience) lying will likely only end in a bigger problem down the road.

Then there is the white lie. I sort of get not wanting to hurt other people’s feelings, but surely it would be better coming from a friend than a stranger. I have learnt it’s not always the best idea to say if something shows your flaws, but instead of lying I explain why (eg. The colour or the cut of the clothing isn’t right for you).

Our culture seems to accept lying, while the media clearly shows it rarely gets us anywhere and simply creates mistrust. But how much better would the world be if not only we could expect the truth from everyone, but that there was no need to lie (whether it be to protect yourself or someone else). And perhaps that’s the real issue – the world just isn’t that open-minded. There are people who will hate us for our truths, but if we don’t stop lying, we are just adding to the misunderstandings and hate. That’s my opinion anyway.

What about you? Do you lie? If so, why? (I genuinely want to know, and won’t be offended if you choose to answer anonymously). 

April Round-Up

I know I've been dropping the ball when it comes to my blogging, so I thought I'd pep it up a bit by doing a monthly round-up type post which is what this is. 

POSITIVE STUFF

Blog Posts: 

2 Musing Mondays posts over on my book blog (one on libraries and one on my preferred format for reading books);and A Quarter of 2015

Books Read:

Cinch! by Cyntia Sass; Tomorrow by Graham Swift; Secret Diary of a Demented Housewife by Niamh Greene

Achievements:

Received 5 years service award for Scouting

Raised £119 for Invest in M.E. through birthday donations (you can still donate as I haven't quite met my target yet?

Goals Progress:

       Letters Written: 2
       Meals Cooked: None, but learnt how to use my spiralizer to make courgetti

No. Stitches (cross stitch)

Don't know (didn't come up with the idea til the end of the month so didn't keep track)

HEALTH

Good Days: 17

Bad Days: 10

Really Bad Days: 3

Panic/Anxiety Attacks: 1

RANDOM

Cups of Coffee: 34

Films Watched: Monsters University

Most Watched TV Shows: Stargate SG-1; Gilmore Girls

Interests/Obsessions: Freddie Mercury (and, by extension, Queen)

Did you like this post? Would you like to see it every month? Anything I've missed? Let me know in the comments.