Missed Opportunities & Hope

As most of you probably aren't aware, as of the 1st November M.E./C.F.S. sufferers will no longer be able to donate blood (BBC Coverage).  I'm not entirely sure what I make of this change in regulations.  I know I should be happy that at last it seems M.E. is being treated as something other than a psychological disorder.  But on the other hand, it is just one more thing that M.E. has taken away from me.

I've always assumed I'd give blood at some point.  Okay, I know I have been completely eligible for the past 4 years, and have yet to actually go and do it, but it's always been in my mind.  And now it is just another opportunity missed; something else I don't get to do.  And so I feel bitter - but there is nowhere for this bitterness to go and it leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth.  And there is nothing I can do about it.  I become trapped in my own annoyance at M.E. and myself (for taking it out on people who really have nothing to do with it).

Of course, it isn't just that I now can't give blood, many things in my life are leaving me with a bad taste in my mouth.  And all I can do is hope that it will get better.  I know I can survive it (and I credit a lot of that to my boyfriend, family and friends).  But I want to do more than just survive.  I want to live, and enjoy life.  So I hope and believe, because there is nothing else I can do.

(Sorry if this post seemed to have turned into a depressive rant - I tried my best not to let it be - but it's how I'm feeling at the moment and it's effecting everything in my life, including this blog).

Rainbows

The white light streams down to be broken up by those human prisms into all the colors of the rainbow.  Take your own color in the pattern and be just that.  ~Charles R. Brown

Perceptions

When I create a character I do the usual type of analysis - what do they look like? what do they want? what is their greatest fear? - you get the idea.  But recently I've been paying more attention to how the other characters perceive them.  And how my character thinks other characters perceive them.  You can see where I'm going with this.

When writing in subjective third person, and especially first person, we must be very aware of how our characters perceive each other.  If the main character thinks someone is trying to steal their boyfriend/job/sandwich then they are going to see them in a completely different light than if they think that same someone is simply interested in their life.  When we see a world through one character's eyes, we can use this to our advantage.  Presumably we want the audience to empathise with our main character and so if they see someone in a bad light, so is our reader.  This can be a lot of fun to play with, especially considering all the relationships between different characters and how we can portray them to the reader which may or may not be accurate which can then be used to our advantage later in the story.

So consider how each character sees all the other characters in a story and you can make your world so much more believable and fully-formed, which equals a better told story.

Friendship

We all love to have friends. We want those special people that you can guarantee will be there for you birthday, when you break-up with your partner and all those little moments in between.  We want people we can call our chosen family.

When I was younger I didn't get this.  I believed I only needed myself to achieve anything in life.  The friends I had in high school were wonderful but I didn't appreciate them at the time and now all I have is memories as none of them have stayed in contact (and honestly I can't blame them).  Yes, I am sorry for what I was like back then but it's part of who I am so I'm not going to be too sorry.  Besides, it taught me the value of friendship.  When I realise that these women are still out there, making something of their lives, and I'm not a part of it in any way, it makes me work harder to keep the friends I have now.

I only have a few friends, and it has been hard work finding and keeping each one of them, made harder by my M.E. but not entirely impossible.  I see them as jewels that have the ability to make me shine and I am thankful for all of them, and I do my best to make sure they are aware of how precious I find their friendship.  I send them letters as well as random messages on facebook and texts just to let them know I am thinking of them.  And I always feel blessed when they respond.

So my advice to you - reach out to one of your friends today.  Take the time to say 'I'm glad you're my friend' and appreciate them for all they have done for you.  Friends make us who we are, we should never forget them or take them for granted.

Let books be your dining table,
And you shall be full of delights
Let them be your mattress
And you shall sleep restful nights.
~Author Unknown

 I love to read - reading for me is almost as important as breathing.  It is the place I can retreat to and know I am safe.

Sunday Shout Out

I absolutely love reading writer interviews and guest posts from a variety of different writers and that is exactly what I've found on WOW! Women On Writing Blog.  With tips and competitions as well as many different writers being interviewed I have found a place where I can fill myself up on writing info.

Yes, they are all women on this blog, and I've found that to be highly inspiratonal (as a women myself) and has opened my mind to different styles and genres of writing.  I highly recommend all writers take a look at this blog, whether they're looking for inspiration or just somewhere to indulge in the need for connection with other writers.

Review: Eat, Pray, Love (film)

This film is based on the book of the same name which shows how the author spent a year in three different countries in the search for herself.  I was expecting a movie with a touch of whimsical and belief in spirituality of life, and I wasn't disappointed.  As Liz (Julia Roberts) travels through Italy, India and Bali, meeting many people and learning different ways of life there were many messages and lessons to be learnt.  However, none of these seemed forced upon me, leaving me to take my own interpretations of the lessons I wanted to learn from it - a definite bonus as I hate anything that seems preachy or telling me how to live my life.

There were moments during the film when I felt intense jealousy for :Liz as she is physically and mentally able to take a year out of life to live to the fullest.  But, despite knowing that I will never be able to have those experiences, I felt that in some way she is sharing them with the world and the people she meets and the cultures she discovers are given to us in a completely true way without being pretentious.

Thought-provoking and heart-felt, this is a story about a woman trying to find out who she is and in the process of watching this film I believe that most people will discover something about themselves just by thinking about the decisions made and the reactions shown, but only if you're willing to open up your heart and mind to possibilities.  Therefore, I'd recommend this film for anyone interested in people or cultures other than their own - but I wouldn't advise anyone to expect it as a guide to life, that is not what this film is for.