This is a continuation of yesterday's post about playing at life. Last night I was thinking about it and realised that it's more than just acting out my life. I am acting out different parts: the student, the daughter, the girlfriend, the ill girl, the friend, the sister, the stranger, the crafter, the writer. The list goes on. And I think I've figured out my problem.
I don't know where the roles I play stop being roles and start being who I am, and vice versa. I don't know who I am as a whole person. I feel too fragmented, too split to be one person. And that is why my life feels like a game sometimes. I am simply taking on a persona, someone who isn't me, but could be. I no longer know whether I am acting a part or just being me. I used to think that being many things was fine, that it was making me into a more rounded person (whatever that means). Now I don't know. I feel like I have lost who I am in the attempt to be many things.
What are your opinions on this? Have you felt this way? Do you have any ideas how I can find the 'real me' again?