Facebook and the Past and Future

Lately I have started spending more time on Facebook,.  While I've been on Facebook for years, I only really used it for games and photo sharing and organising events.  Somehow over the past couple of months, I've begun using it to be a part of discussions - both in groups and on status's. This has led to me updating my status occasionally and sharing my views, and honestly I think that's why I haven't been blogging as much - it's not that I can't think of anything to say, but that I have already said it in a condensed version somewhere else.  But I love blogging, so don't worry, I will likely always find my way back here.

On Facebook at the moment, many people seem to be using something called 'Time Hop' which is an app that shows you what you've posted to your Facebook wall on the same date in previous years, and then reposts it for you.  This might just be my friends, but I doubt it.  However, I refuse to use it, simply because I don't want to live in the past; I am much more excited about the present and the future.  If we all just post what we've posted before, what new content will there be, both now and if you continue using 'Time Hop'?

There is nothing wrong with looking back and remembering and learning from the past.  But if that's all we focus on, we cannot move forward as individuals or as a society.  I don't know about you, but discovery is one of those things that energizes me. I love watching documentaries, not because I want to follow the past, but because I need the new (to me) information. I need to keep learning and exploring, and I cannot do that if I only look back.  I also happen to think that we live in an amazing (if slightly terrifying) fast-paced world where change is happening quicker than ever. I might not be the first to try out new phones or ipods, but that doesn't mean I'm not looking forward to seeing where we're going.

So this post did sway a little from my topic in the last paragraph, but that is what I love about writing and blogging - I can start in one place and it will lead me to a choice of many paths of ideas.

Do you use Time Hop? Either way, let me know what you think of the constant deluge of the past we seem to keep posting on  places like Facebook.

Distracted

About a month ago I got a new phone.  It is only my third phone ever, and is the first smartphone I've owned (yes, I am way behind everyone else, that's just me).

While I love having access to so many apps, I have to say that I've found myself 'multi-tasking' more and more.  Instead of just watching something, I am also playing games. Instead of resting, I am watching YouTube videos.

I know it's on me to learn to limit how I spend my energy, but having all this access is both a blessing and a curse.  On my bad days it doesn't matter if I can get up to turn on my laptop, as I can now go on Twitter and be filled with hope from the #spoonie support there.  But on good days I have to force myself away from the pointless games (candy crush saga comes in top right now), making procrastination even easier.  Even while I'm doing something else, I am still distracted by thinking about what needs to be done on my phone (i.e. whether my little 'pou' pet needs something, or if my tiny tower needs to be stocked)

I guess it's something that I will have to adapt to. I know I need to dial down the usage of my phone, and since realising this I've already made good progress by consciously making the decision not to pick up my phone while a page loads, or during the credits between episodes of whatever I'm watching (just started 'Orange is the new Black').  Over time I'm hoping to continue making time for the important things, it just takes a little practice.  Now that the novelty of having internet on my phone has mostly dialled down, I'm hoping I can start using my phone to aid productivity, rather than procrastination.

What are your favourite apps?  Feel free to share addictive games, as I like having something to do when I am forced to lie down for prolonged periods, but mostly I'm looking for apps to help inspire and motivate myself.

Living Without Internet

Honestly I was very worried about having to live without the internet for more than a couple of days.  It wasn’t that I thought I’d get bored (after all, I grew up without internet or television so I’m quite happy to turn to books), but the fact that effectively my entire life is conducted through the internet.  I shop online. I follow the news online (albeit rarely).  I use the internet to motivate and inspire myself.  And, most importantly, I socialize online.  So yes, living without internet for almost two weeks was not something I was looking forward to.

For the first few days I was mostly resting and getting used to the new flat so I didn't really have time to notice not having the internet.  After that I started really noticing its absence – mainly because my days suddenly seemed extremely long.  It’s so easy to forget just how much time gets sucked away as we sit in front of a screen and ‘just do this one thing’.  Suddenly I found that not only did I have time to rest more than I needed (and now I have the internet this is the bit I’m struggling with the most), but I also had all the time I needed to read books, unpack (still got a long way to go though), and start playing the Sims 3 again.

What struck me most though, was that after a week or so, I was suddenly hit with an influx of ideas.  Ideas has always been something that I struggle with; often I have almost-ideas that I can’t quite get a grip on.  Apparently living without internet gave my mind the space to fill itself with new and exciting projects that I definitely will be getting started on soon (you know, once I've worked out how to fit productive me alongside the internet and unpacking).  Needless to say this has left me motivated and positive, which are two things I can always use more of.

The other, rather surprising, thing I found out was that writing my 750 words has finally become a habit.  Admittedly for the first few days I didn't write anything.  Usually I do my words on the website each day (not necessarily in the morning), and I was more than a little upset I had to break my 128 day streak (you can only ‘go on holiday’ for up to 10 days for some reason).  And so I figured it would be like all the other times I've stopped doing 750 words regularly, ie. a real pain to get back into.  It turns out that it has finally become such a deeply ingrained habit that this is not a problem and I soon found myself doing them automatically on my computer every day, even though I wasn't pressuring myself to do them.  I guess now I just have to decide on what to work on to become my next ingrained habit (I’m thinking meditating, but welcome any suggestions).

Living without internet for so long (okay, just shy of 2 weeks) has given me a lot of food for thought, and making me question whether I want this to become a regular thing every few months; but for now I’m just going to relax, get used to my new place and enjoy the wonders of the world (and more) at my fingertips once again.

Blogmas Day 27: A Different World

It occurred to me this morning that my little brother (who is 5) is growing up in a completely different world than the one I did.  I mean, he knows how to use the video and DVD player and knows about the internet and iplayer, even if he doesn't completely understand it.  When I was growing up we had one family computer (actually, we got this when I was older than he is now, but I'm not sure exactly when) and had 4 hours a day of internet usage between us.  This seems completely crazy now, but it wasn't that long ago.  And we didn't expect more.  My family has always been behind on technology (we've never had television and I got my first phone when I was 17 I think) and have always been book people.  My little brother loves reading (and I've been really impressed with how far he's come) so I know that technology doesn't always equal the banishing of books.  But I cannot comprehend how he will remember his childhood and what he accepts as normal.  The world is changing so very fast and I want to be swept along with incredible knowledge and advances humanity is making; but I also want to stop and appreciate every moment and remember how the world is right now and where we started.

In case you were wondering what brought on these thoughts, it was my little brother asking me a question.  Okay, technically it wasn't the question, but his response when I didn't know the answer - 'I'll ask the family and if no one knows we'll Google it' (I don't think he remembered the question long enough to ask anyone else, but for someone who was brought up having to look everything up in one of my dad's many encyclopedias  this response snapped me into realising just how much has changed).

My Day and a Mini Struggle I'm Currently Having

It is possibly a bad idea to write this post right now as I can feel tiredness overwhelming me; and if truth be told, I have no pearls of wisdom to share with you. 

Today I went Christmas shopping - only I didn't end up buying any presents (actually, I bought one) though I came home with a few treats for myself (and a few more ideas and a lot of panicking about ideas I don't have yet).  It may seem a little early to be stressing out about the lack of presents I have bought, but for me, most of the present giving is going to happen next weekend as both Chris' and my parents are visiting.

I am also struggling with my laptop at the moment.  It works, but refuses to charge while it is switched on so I have to wait while it charges in between my times online.  This is completely weird for me as usually I spend hours online every day - now I am relegated to just a few hours over the course of one day (my batteries are old so don't last very long and take ages to charge).  Unfortunately it has been my writing that has taken a hit - both my blogging and, in fact, all other writing I do (except writing in my diary).  I am still undecided whether being forced away for my laptop for the majority of the day is a good thing or not.  I'm thinking that it's good that I am no longer allowed to glue myself to a screen, but I also think that the 1-1.1/2 hr time I have at a time is not long enough to really start and finish everything I want to do - I guess this is where it takes some practice (and clearly I am getting better as I've managed to write this today!)

Hopefully I'll have something of more substance for you later this week (but please don't hold your breath as I would hate to be the cause of your lack of oxygen).

Living Through A Screen

For the past couple of months I have been living almost entirely through my screen.  I don’t mean to say that I don’t disconnect, spend time with Chris, my hobbies, my books, because I do.  I mean that for me, the majority of my connections and experiences are rooted almost entirely online.

This isn’t really surprising and I have to say I’m so glad to live in a time with internet access as otherwise I would feel much more alone, helpless and trapped.  But I realised the other day, when I was able to go outside to visit a friend (a truly wonderful experience, made much more gratifying now that we rarely see each other) that in becoming so connected to the online universe, I had disconnected from reality.

When I saw people walking by, going about their everyday business, I felt envious.  Granted, I have often been hit with the strong feeling that life is unfair and questioning why this happened to me, but this time it was different.  I had gotten myself so worked into the world that is the internet, that I had almost forgotten that there are other people in the world, right outside my front door.  Even those who I have conversed with and been touched by remain hidden behind another screen. 

The web may have the ability to connect us to everyone, but in the process we must always remember that those we connect with have lives outside the screen.  They eat and sleep, the same as us.  They have families and best friends and mistakes and dreams and desires that we can never see.  Part of me wants to see right through the screen and be included in their lives.  I want to see and know everything.  Now, I know this isn’t possible, but just by remembering that everyone has a life outside the gates of my screen I believe that I can connect in a much more real and valuable way.  When it comes down to it, we are all the same – and we want to know that.

What I'm Not Telling You

Having any kind of presence online leaves us open and vulnerable.  We are constantly aware of the risks we take in sharing an aspect of our world.  You’ve probably noticed that I never mention where I live, or where my family lives, or anything that could root my existence in the real world.  But at the same time, while I don’t want you to know where I live, I want to share how I live.  After all, isn’t that reason we blog?  To show a little of ourselves to the rest of the world.

The truth is I don’t know where the balance is anymore.  I want to be open and honest with you, not just to be authentic, but because I want you to see me.  At the same time there is just so much that I don’t know if I can, or even should, share.  I know everyone goes through bad times, everyone has bad days.  I’m completely guilty of thinking that they only ever happen to me.  Yet I still don’t know whether to show you my open wounds, especially as they are still so open and raw for me.

I want you to understand what my life is like.  But at the same time I want to protect you from it.  No, I want to protect myself from it.  I want to protect myself from being judged due to my feelings and reactions to them.  And I want to protect myself by imagining that it isn’t true.  If I don’t say it out loud (or online in this case) then perhaps I can believe that it didn’t really happen, that I am the happy, positive person I want to be, the one I want to show to the world.

This is not a new dilemma for writers.  Where do we draw the line between allowing our audience to empathise through common emotions and giving them the blow-by-blow account of reality?

This is what I’m thinking about today.  I don’t want you to worry, the wounds aren’t anything new I’m having to deal with, but I wanted you to know that there is more to me than I am prepared to show, at least right now.  Saying that, however, I always aim to write my complete truth in this space.  I may not be able to give you all of me, but what I do give is unedited, truthful glimpses of my life.

Facebook Turns Us Into Teenagers

When we are children we believe that the world revolves around us.  When we become teenagers we believe that the world should revolve around us.  Although we are starting to become aware of the fact that there are other people in the world, and that those people are important, we still seem to hold onto the ideal that we are the most important person and why doesn't everyone else get that?  I think this is what causes all that anger and frustration we seem to harbour as teenagers - it is the only way we can adjust to our changing world views.  Of course, most of us (hopefully) mature and accept that everyone is equal and while we are completely unique and important, we are no more unique or important than anyone else.  After this week I'm beginning to question if the internet and social media are actually preventing us from reaching this viewpoint.

As you are reading this, I'm assuming you probably use the internet for social media - in which case, you will know of the changes facebook made this week.  Yes, they were big changes.  Yes, I'm still working my way around them.  No, I'm not complaining.

All this week I have been reading posts and tweets and even facebook messages complaining that their comfortable media site has upped and changed on them and doesn't facebook know that they didn't want changes?  To me, this seems to be channeling a lot of that anger and frustration at the fact that facebook changed without their personal permission.  Basically, exactly the same reaction as what I described teens to have at the beginning of this post.  It seems that this change has brought out the whiney, angry teenage side of some of us.  I say us because I admit that I was a little annoyed when I saw the changes.  But I figured that, hey, this is a free site, I am not paying anything for it so what right do I have to complain? 

The reason teenagers have a problem with adults is that these adults are telling them to quit moaning and do something about the situation if it's that big of a deal.  The majority of the time, teenagers don't actually want to actively fix something, they want it fixed for them (I know I did).  This is what apparantly has happened to almost everyone online this week.  People didn't like the situation, but rather than do something about it, they just moaned, very loudly in public, knowing full well that it wouldn't make a shred of difference. In honesty, I feel that if the changes bug you that much, stop complaining and actually do something about it (how about deactivating your account?  Or had you forgotten that that was an option? A point for another post).  Or have you already forgotten that it bothered you and are now perfectly happy with the new system?

Why I Love Twitter!

 There are quite a few things I'm loving at the moment:

• Chris (obviously)
• Chocolate (as always)
• Sims 3 (far too addictive)
• And Twitter

Seriously, Twitter is amazing.  For many of you, this is probably old news.  But for those of you who are still unsure about the whole Twitter thing, let me explain.

I have been tweeting (or twittering as I prefer to say) for quite a while now but it is only recently that I unlocked the magic and started loving it.  You see, it is a SOCIAL network.  And while my tweeting was fine as it was, it was all about me.  Now, I'm starting to get the whole social part of it.  I am replying to tweets and making friends (or at least aquaintances).  I am tweeting about anything and everything (though I do keep it pg and as interesting as possible).

But as I said, it is about socialising, it's about connecting.  And I think that is exactly the reason why I love it.  No matter what time it is, there is always someone to chat to on Twitter.  Being stuck at home can be lonely (especially when Chris is at work) and while I've tried forums and facebook and letters, Twitter is the only one where the replies are instant.  Perhaps that's not always a good thing, but with connecting, it certainly helps to know that there are other people out there at that exact precise moment.  But with Twitter, it's even better.  I can connect instantly but if I miss when someone replies to me, it doesn't matter as that message is still there when I come back on.

I'm still a beginner when it comes to Twitter but I think I have finally pulled myself out of that 'newbie' phase (which, of course, there is nothing wrong with but it is kind of limiting) and am now happy to proclaim (apparently very publicly) that I love Twitter.

If you're on Twitter, or decide to sign up, make sure you add me @Tamara_Epps and send me a message.

Think Before You 'Like'

There are more social networks popping up all the time, and one thing that I’ve noticed with all of them is that they are designed so you can easily repeat anything you find to your followers.  This post is to explain why I think you might be better off NOT pressing the ‘like’, ‘retweet’ or ‘share’ on Facebook, Twitter and Google +1 respectively.   

You are probably thinking ‘but it’s so easy’ or perhaps shaking your head at the screen as you believe I have just told you not to share this post.  But that’s not what I’m saying at all.  I’m not saying don’t ever press that button.  I’m simply suggesting you think about it before you do.  Think of it this way – if a stranger handed you some business cards, would you happily go and give them to your friends, family and anyone who happened to be standing nearby?  When you share anything online, you are advertising it.  Now, I’m all for word of mouth advertising (which is the closest phrase I can think of for it) but only for products and services that I truly love.  I would never recommend something without trying it for myself.  And I think that this should apply to ‘liking’ as well.

Not only does retweeting anything you find clog up your feed, it can actually harm you (well, your reputation anyway).  When you tell your followers about a product, you aren’t just sharing it, you are reflecting who you are.  We all know the phrase ‘everything you say and do can, and will, be taken and used against you’ and with technology this is even more prevalent.  We are constantly judging others by what we see online – and we are constantly being judged.  And the thing with services like Facebook and Google +1, that information is out there, for anyone to find, forever (or at least until we all stop using the internet which I don’t see happening anytime soon).  If you say something to a friend, it can be forgotten.  If you type something into twitter it will always be there for others to access (even if you delete it, it is already in the feeds of all your followers).

So back to my point about passing on what you find.  I think it’s great that we can share what we love so easily with anyone who knows (and doesn’t know) us.  But I think with this freedom we should exercise a little care.

I have to admit that I’m as guilty of this as anyone, especially when it comes to Facebook.  I was recently editing my profile and I realised that I’d ‘liked’ an enormous number of pages.  I don’t expect anyone to read them all.  And therefore they won’t know what I really love.  (I am currently in the process of going through them all and ‘unliking’ any that shouldn’t be there – an excruciating and annoying process, but one I believe will be worthwhile.)  As I said, it can all be used against me as anyone who does happen to glance over my profile will see the huge list and automatically assume that I’m either very well-rounded or have no focus in my life (the fact that both of them may be true isn’t the point – it’s whether I want everyone I know to make that assumption or not).

Do you ‘retweet’ constantly, or do you show restraint?  Think, what do your ‘likes’ say about you?

Goodreads

Image owned by Goodreads

Okay, I realise that once again I am late to the party, but I've just discovered Goodreads (I'm guessing you're rolling your eyes about now).  To be fair I've known about Goodreads for a while, just haven't seen the point of joining.  I had on app on facebook that does pretty much the same thing (or so I thought) and that was good enough for me.  So when said app decided to discontinue I wasn't the happiest bunny.  It did offer me the chance, however, to upload all my saved books to Goodreads so I grudgingly agreed.  Turns out I've been missing out.

In case you don't know, Goodreads is a site where readers (and authors) can share what they're reading/want to read/have read with their friends.  You can rate the books and leave reviews.  That is pretty much what my old app did.  Goodreads takes it a lot further, which is why I now realise I was missing out.  Not only can you share your books but you can vote on lists, join groups (I'm currently looking for a bookclub to join - there are not a few of them!), read interviews with authors and join in with reading challenges and goals (or set your own).  Seriously, if you don't have a goodreads account - get one. (And when you do, feel free to add me as a friend - just message me first so I know how you found me.)

And the best part?  Since I've joined Goodreads I've wanted to read more as the whole atmosphere is geared towards reading and once again I'm back into my goal of reading every book under the sun.

Anyone have any suggestions on bookclubs I might want to join?

The Issue of Privacy

Click for Source

The other day I started looking into Google – you know, the whole Google +1 thing and linking my profile to my blog and twitter.  That of course got me started on a whole other topic and so I couldn’t help but google myself (don’t look down on me, you know you’ve done it too).  What I found surprised me.

For starters, apparently there are at least two other people in the world with my exact same name.  Okay, we probably don’t share middle names (though now I’m thinking I should check) but I had been under the impression my name was relatively obscure.  I know ‘Tamara’ has become more popular since I was born, but seriously, my surname is a little weird if you ask me.

The other shock factor I got was just how much information was available to anyone who searched my name.  Did you know there is a website called DatingSPY?  I’m not kidding.  Apparently you can not only find information such as birthday, photo, where they live, family members, but there are links to dating site profiles that might be who you’re looking for.  Is it just me or is that providing stalkers, kidnappers and murderers with too much information.  Just in case you’re curious I promptly removed my profile and then proceeded to go through the masses of privacy settings on facebook.

I know I shouldn’t really have been surprised, after all, I’ve never really worried too much about what information is available to others.  I’m not saying I took intentional risks – I’ve never put my address on the internet and consider myself relatively careful when it comes to this blog.  I just didn’t realise how easy I was to track.  (In real life I mean as the whole point of having a blog and twitter is to become more visible online).

I have to wonder if I’m being paranoid here.  Or should we really be worried about privacy (or the lack thereof) at all?  We are living in a digital age and the truth is that every movement we make online is being tracked (admit it, Google probably knows more about you than you do) to create better ad-targeting and to help us in our searches find what we want quicker (so I am told).  So where do we draw the line?

Are you worried about the amount of information about you that is available on the web?  Do you try and keep everything private or have you decided that other battles are more important?