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Saturday, 26 February 2011

I'm Cookie Dough

Fans of the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer will probably recognize this phrase: "I'm cookie dough." from series 7.  Basically Buffy is explaining to Angel why she can't be with him (at the current time) because: "I'm cookie dough.  I'm not done baking, I'm not finished becoming whoever it is I'm going to turn out to be."

This is how I'm feeling at the moment.  I feel like I'm slowly cooking, perhaps still in the mixing stage even. I find that there are more ingredients being added to me all the time.  I am finding new things I love, thinking new thoughts.  But everything that has come before it is also included in the mix of ingredients that is me.

I don't know if I'll ever be done baking - I doubt it.  But I am enjoying who I am now and enjoying finding ingredients to add.  There is nothing better than discovering that perhaps I do enjoy reading an author I never would have approached (Anthony Horowitz if you're interested), or trying a new genre of writing and finding that I don't completely suck at it.

So I am cookie dough.  But I'm focusing on enjoying the process of being made rather than the end product.  After all, I don't bake to eat the cake (though it is usually delicious), but because I like baking.

1 comment:

Deefy said...

That's right! This is a fabulous way of thinking about it. Reading through my Korea and Japan letters tickled me; I kept saying things that indicated I thought I'd grown up and somehow become who I was meant to be, like that's one destination instead of a process. Fortunately I was very wrong about all of that! Every day I find a new ingredient to spice things up, and/or wonder how to extract an ingredient that doesn't taste so good.

Here's to continued enjoyment of the process, for both of us!