So over a quarter of the year has gone and I can’t help feeling I have done nothing with that time. I haven’t been meeting my yearly goals; I haven’t been writing blog posts; I am behind on my reading, and so on. However, I have to take into account that it hasn’t been a good start to the year. For reasons I don’t really want to share I was left without carers for a month or so. On the one hand it was a good chance to see what life would be like without them, on the other hand it became increasingly clear it made my life significantly worse. Thankfully that’s been sorted now (and the new care company so far seems much better) and I am beginning to come back from that awful experience which affected my depression as well as my physical health.
I finally feel there is a chance I can start moving forward again. Spring came and it motivated me, but then it seems we have jumped to summer and the heat is only making me more lethargic and unwilling to actually do anything.
There are many days when I feel like I’ve achieved nothing, but I have to remember I usually do some reading, have a shower, talk to the carers, do some cross-stitch, and get myself dressed which is way more than I’ve been able to do continually (every day) for quite some time. And every day I try and motivate myself to get a little something done, whether it be sorting out my flat (as I still haven’t fully unpacked even though I’ve been here 2 years), reading, or writing. It’s hard not to focus on the time ‘wasted’, but I know it’s the future I’m working towards, and though sometimes it feels like I do nothing, I still need plenty of rest to continue improving.
So I have to hope the worst of the year is over and I can start trying to get on with my life again (now I just have to work out where to put my focus as there are so many things I want to do).
How has 2015 been treating you so far? Do you see a difference in your life as the seasons change?