There are a few reasons I haven't blogged so far this week: problems with my internet; problems with my M.E. But mostly stress as I hand in my final project (a.k.a. my dissertation). Yes, two days ago I handed in the very final piece of work for my degree. And as I don't have any exams - I guess that makes me finished. Okay, so technically I'm still a student until the end of June, but for all intents and purposes, I'm finished. I have completed the thing that I've spent my last three years leading up to. I have completed my degree.
And honestly it's left me feeling a bit disorientated and lost. I have been a student my whole life, and now...now I am not. I am no longer a student. Neither am I employed. I am in that weird space in between. I don't know what my future will hold and part of me can't wait to find out. But another part of me wants to stay still, stay where I know what is expected and what I am doing. So I am compromising - I am not going to stay still. But nor am I going to rush forward and miss the present. I am going to take it a day at a time and watch my life unravel. After all, I still have my writing and crafts and other life stuff to keep me more than busy.
Every day now I have to remember that I'm starting something new; and that while my feelings of fear are completely rational, I will not let them govern me. But for the next week or so, I am simply going to take a deep breath of relief and try to relax. I need to let my body and mind recover from the past three years and prepare for the future. A future I will share within this space - just in case you're interested.