I am so tired.
I am tired of living in my bed. I am tired of not being able to have a job. I am tired of feeling like shit. I am tired of being depressed. I am tired of being angry. I am tired of struggling. I am tired of doing nothing. Mostly I'm tired of living a life of existing and surviving.
Life wasn't supposed to be this hard. I wasn't supposed to be trapped inside my body unable to live a 'normal' life. I wasn't supposed to have to spend all my energy on fighting myself just to keep on living.
So yes, I'm bloody tired.
I also know that wishing this wasn't my life isn't helping anyone. Most of the time I am able to accept that; this is the life I have to live. But every now and then it's okay not to be happy with the situation I'm in. Every now and then it's okay to hate the life I've been stuck with.
Tomorrow will be a new day, a new start. Today I'm hate this existence for it isn't living. Tomorrow I will remember I'm able to live, at least a little bit, and that will be enough - tomorrow.