Choosing My Needs

750 words is a website that effectively lets you write your 'morning pages' online and then analyses them.  I don't really pay much attention to the analysis side of things, but I do like that it keeps track of how many days in a row I have managed to write something.  Last week I crossed the hundred day streak with writing my 750 words.

Unfortunately this site has to become membership only for a time due to lack of funds.  If you had told me a couple of months ago that I would happily shell out $5 a month (it isn't a lot but when money is tight you have to count every penny) for a service that I can clearly do by myself I wouldn't have believed you.  But needless to say, that is what I am now doing.

Yes, I could easily open a document each morning and write my 750 words and mark off how many days I have done it - but I know that when it comes down to it, I would be unlikely to actually do it.  The reason is simply that I have realised what a massive difference this site has made on both my writing and my health. 

I used to always use my words to get out all the crap in my head and work out what it was that I wanted to achieve that day.  I still do this sometimes but recently I have started using those words to write blog posts (such as this one) first.  The idea of morning pages is to get out the crap before writing anything important, but I have found that either way is good for me.  If I am feeling like shit emotionally or mentally, forcing myself to write something often helps me become less depressed; knowing that I need to maintain my 'streak' has helped me many times to force myself to sit at the computer and type rubbish for ten to fifteen minutes.  And of course, if I have used the words to write a draft of something like a blog post then I can go through the rest of the day knowing that I've already achieved at least something, even if it never sees the light of day (I have many posts written which are only half thoughts).

That is why I am now happily paying for the service.  I have noticed the difference – no matter how tiny – it has made in my life and I am willing to pay for my emotional and mental health as, to me, it is the most important thing in the world.  I am finally realising that it is okay to choose me, to focus on me and my needs rather than constantly trying to fix everyone else’s. 

Are there any services that helps fulfil your needs?  Let us know in the comments why/why not you pay for them.