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Saturday, 15 October 2011

Feeling Angry

Yesterday I went into town with Chris (well, it would be hard going on my own in my wheelchair).  We went to the library where I got some books out (you know I can never resist reading material) and had a coffee at Costa.  In general, it was a good hour or two, especially as I was out of the flat (something I'm hoping will begin to happen more often).

But on the way home we unfortunately ran into one of those really careless people.  Not only had he stopped his car on the corner (really not a safe place), but it was right across the dippy bit in the path which we needed to use to cross the road.  Despite mentioning this, they completely ignored us, meaning that Chris had to push me quite far out of our way just so we could cross the road.  Needless to say this put a mega dampner on our day out.

I know I shouldn't let other people get to me, but it's so easy to get upset or angry when someone is inconsiderate or just plain rude.  I'd like to think the world is made up of good people (and the majority of the time I am able to believe it) but when people are aware that they are causing a problem and don't care, it really gets me down.  More accurately, it gets me angry.  Most of the time I just breathe and ignore them (I've found being patient in a queue when everyone else is grumbling is actually quite satisfactory) but this becomes a lot more difficult when I am tired (which I was, having left the flat for a change).  Often I stop and remind myself that it is just possible they are having a bad day, after all, it happens to everyone and perhaps I should give them some slack.

Yesterday wasn't one of those days where I was patient or understanding.  Yesterday I got angry.  And then I got even more angry that he drove off before seeing how much he'd made us go out of our way.  And so I grumbled and complained and moaned, and felt hurt and upset.  Of course this led to me feeling guilty for allowing some idiot to ruin the end of the day.  I know that I can't take back my moaning, and I know that Chris is way too understanding (doesn't make me feel any better though).  All I can do is to try and remember for next time.  Hopefully next time someone makes me angry I'll be able to shake it off and not let it effect how I'm feeling.  After all, everyone makes mistakes, we just have to learn from them to make a better future.

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