Last week I went to my first ever baby shower. I have to say I quite enjoyed it - but that could have a lot to do with seeing my friends, socialising in general and the really yummy food we ate!
Honestly, I'm not a baby person. Sure, I'm over the moon that my best friend is pregnant. But, it has to be said, it's because I know I won't be the one who has actually have the baby - I can just make a fuss of it every now and again (no offence meant BFF :P).
Yet, when I tell people I don't want to have children I usually am met with disbelief, or at the very worst, an assumption of naiveity. Seriously, why is it so wrong that I don't want to have children? I am a big believer that everyone has a right to choose how they live their life, as long as it doesn't intentionally harm anyone else. So I have to say, that I am offended when people assume I'm either lying to them or to myself. I am not stupid. Yes, I am a woman. And yes, I am aware that I may change my mind in the future. But where I am now in my life and beliefs, I stand firm on not wanting kids.
The problem is, I never remember wanting children. I never remember wanting to be a mother. I have felt that motherly instinct in the past few years, when my little brother was born, but it was nowhere near strong enough to override my horror at the idea.
I know a few of you want to throw things at me right now. Yes, I said the idea of having a baby horrifies me. It terrifies me and it kind of makes me feel like throwing up. But that's just me. I don't care whether you want kids, have kids, wish you could have kids - that's your choice. I respect your choice but it doesn't effect me because it's your life. So why can't people respect me for my choice?
I writing this not to upset anyone (I think I've made it quite clear that is not my intention) but because I feel certain that I can't be the only woman to ever feel like this. This is for them. If you know that you don't want to be a mother, please, please don't let family, friends or society pressure you into it. At the end of the day, it's your choice, your life.
I am well aware that I know nothing about being a mother, and I don't claim to. I believe that for some people it is the most rewarding occupation. And if you are one of those people - please try and remember that EVERYONE's choices are just as valid as yours. If you are trying to talk someone into becoming a mother, that's like me trying to talk you into becoming a writer (if you hate writing) or a crafter, on the grounds that you won't be fulfilled if you don't follow in my footsteps.
EVERYONE has the choice to live their life as they want to. NO ONE has the right to make someone else feel guilty for their choices.
(By the way, I wasn't met with that much prejudice at the baby shower - it just got me thinking about it and past experiences.)