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Friday 13 November 2009

Too Many Expectations

Lately I have been embracing my inner domestic goddess. Take today for example; I haven't done any uni work (yet) but have: baked a complex cake; done some washing; changed my bedding and enjoyed tv, book and magazine as well. More and more often I am finding that I prefer myself in this state. I am calmer and my efforts have a more physical presence than simply doing research for my degree. I don't have to worry about deadlines and so take the time to relax between tasks, making sure I don't overwork myself.

Don't get me wrong, I love learning and I love going to uni. But I am beginning to question my future of a job where I have to work hard to get anywhere (this is my brain remember). Though I am still adament that I don't want children (though I would consider adoption) and I don't want to get married; I can't deny that being a housewife is beginning to seem a great idea - let's face it, I probably won't ever be able to work full time thanks to my M.E/C.F.S, so perhaps this is where I was heading all the time.

The main problem I have with this is that I have been brought up to believe that I can do whatever I want in life, that I should chase my dreams. Of course there is nothing wrong with this theorem but to me this meant - get a job, be a highflyer, you're smart enough to earn lots of money. And so now I have to face my beliefs and work out what it is that I really want. It is scary and confusing but I know I can always change my mind if what I decide doesn't work out. Am just wondering if society's pressure on women to do everything has effected any of my readers in the way it is effecting me? Please leave any comments you have on this (whether you are male or female).

1 comment:

Muffins said...

I feel the same way too, Bethany. :)

Sometimes it's better to just take a break from schoolwork and do other things.

Honestly, I'm the type of person who lives for the moment. I have dreams but I'm just too tired or too lazy to work to achieve them. I'm probably hoping that one day, my dreams will be served to me in a silver platter! Haha.

Oh, I just wish that we don't have to live with a scale!