If you follow me on Twitter, then you'll know that the past few weeks haven't been my best. My M.E. has reared it's head, causing me to struggle to do the few things I had previously been able to do without much issue (such as going online, making breakfast and lunch, etc).
Just before Christmas I was beginning to see a slight improvement in my health, and was beginning to have hope that one day I would return to a 'normal' life. This has made these past few weeks all the harder, as to be honest it has been disheartening to go back to not even being able to read as much as I would like, whenever I'd like. In a way it felt like taking a step forward, only to take a step back. Thankfully I have had the support of many wonderful 'spoonie' friends, who have made it possible for me to fight the downward spiral my depression, frustration and anger was taking me.
Michael Nobbs made January a month of hibernation. I hadn't intended my January to follow suit, but my body clearly had other ideas. Now that my emotional and mental state have come back to positive, I'm planning to join Michael's month of gentle stirring in February (can't believe that tomorrow is February, it seems far too soon), by committing to working on a project for 20 minutes every day. 20 minutes may not sound a lot to some people, but to me each 20 minutes of work will likely need to be followed by 90-120 minutes of full resting, and of course, 20 minutes is better than none. If you'd like to join in, you can find out more here, and I would love it if you let me know in the comments. The project I will be working on is one I started last year, and feel it's time to continue and hopefully finish. I hope you will understand that I won't be sharing the specifics here just yet, as from experience I have discovered that I have a much better chance of finishing if I don't talk about it much.
On the plus side of the past few weeks, I have had plenty of time to think without planning or hoping or dreaming, which has left me feeling open and ready to be filled with new ideas. I've also been watching Charmed on Netflix (I'm just starting series 3 so no spoilers please), and wondering why on earth I waited until now to give the show a chance (actually, I know it was because I read a few of the books when I was a teenager and hated them). I've also been watching White Collar when I've been feeling up to it (shows like this use more energy than you'd think, as it requires me to actively pay attention the whole time to actually enjoy it), and have a very long list of films and shows I want to watch in the future.
Overall, I don't think this was a wasted month, as it's given me the time to recover from the holiday season (admittedly, I'd like to have recovered earlier, but that's life with M.E.) both physically and mentally, and I'm back to hoping and dreaming about the year to follow.