Challenging My Perceptions Of Myself

I believe in constantly learning new things and discovering new ways in which to see the world.  However, recently I’ve started challenging my perceptions of the world in a completely different way.  Instead of looking outward to see differently, I’ve found that I am looking inward.

Let’s start at the beginning.  I am a writer.  I have always known that I was a writer and that is where my talent lies.  I’ve never questioned this, just followed along.  I have accepted myself as a creative through my writing.  I am also a crafter.  But I see myself more as an amateur creative – I make cards and cross-stitch.  Until recently I’ve only really stuck to the basics and haven’t really seen them (especially the cross-stitch) as part of my creativity.

And then I decided I wanted to start a creative business revolving around writing (because that’s what I’m good at) and cross-stitch (because I have fell so far in love with it that I want to do it all the time).  For this to work I’ve had to radically change my self-imposed view of myself.  I am having to design my own charts, which inevitably means that I am putting pencil to paper and drawing ideas.

When I realised that that was what I would have to do I became terrified.  I can’t draw.  I’m the person that doodles stars and hearts because that’s all I can make come out right.  And now I had to trust that I could not only come up with ideas (something I’ve always struggled with), but that I would be able to get them down on paper.

Earlier this week I had a massive break through.  You may remember that I managed to do alittle designing despite being very ill, I didn’t admit that I was terrified of looking back to see how much editing they would need.  Of course they did need a little tweaking, but overall, I was proud of my work.  And on Saturday I outdid myself in drawing the perfect cupcake (quite a task when you’re as much of a perfectionist as me).  I have now accepted myself as an artist.  I may never sell my artwork in its original form (I am currently drawing to transpose my designs into cross-stitch charts) but I have come to terms with the fact that I don’t suck nearly as much as I thought.

Is there anything, like drawing, that you tell yourself you could never do, let alone be good at?  Why not challenge your perceptions of yourself and see what happens (you may well suck, but perhaps with a bit of practice you will find that you can do it) and share your experiences either in the comments here or on your own blog (and like here so we can read it).