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Thursday, 19 May 2011

One Quick Phone Call

It's typical that the moment I resign myself to not blogging much, I find myself with lots of news and plenty of post ideas crammed into my head, begging for release.

As you know, I haven't been really feeling like myself recently.  I haven't found myself interested or motivated to do much at all.  It's amazing how quickly that can change.  Yesterday morning I was woken by a phone call.  A phone call inviting me to an interview!  I have only applied for a few jobs as I've been struggling to get up in the morning, but this one I really wanted to apply for.  It is 12hrs a week which I'm certain I can manage.  It's temporary so I figure it'll give me some time to worry about getting a 'real job'.  I am don't have any of the qualifications they ask for.  But I know I can do this job.  And it seems that they think I might be able to as well.  I wasn't expecting a reply.  I wasn't expecting any response at all.  But I got one. 

I had been feeling like a failure.  I had applied for an online freelance article writing job and been turned down.  To say I was at my lowest would be exaggerating.  To say I was at my best would be an outright lie.  I had given up having faith in myself.  Getting this interview brought it all back.  I know I still have a way to.  I know I might not get the job, but for now, knowing I got an interview is enough.  It reminded me that I am capable.  I am strong.  And I can survive in this world, even with M.E.  So now I am determined to fight my way out of depression.  I am taking it extra slow, just a day at a time, focusing on one thought or idea a day as the last thing I want is to burn out and force myself back down.  For the first time in a while I feel able, and that is saying a lot.

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