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Monday, 8 July 2013

Emotional Switches

Why is it that I can go from extremely happy and excited and hopeful about my life, to hating every second and every part of it in a few moments? 

For the past few years my emotions have ruled me, and I have ‘happily’ clung to them as they were so far from the numbness I felt for most of my teen years.  Lately I haven’t really had to worry about how I was feeling as it was all positive and therefore even more than I had hoped for given my circumstances.  Today reminded me what it used to be like, switching from one extreme to the other with barely any provocation.

Sometimes I wonder why I still hold on to the emotions – what’s so bad about wanting to avoid feelings anyway?  Admittedly I only ask this question when everything is out of whack in me; and from experience I know that it is better not to focus on those sorts of questions just because they pop up when I am in the throes of my hysterics.  That doesn’t make it any easier to leave my questioning to a time when I am calm and rational.  But I know I have to.  So for now I’m just going to focus on breathing and getting to the next moment, before I allow myself to wallow in philosophical confusion.


I do need to ask though, is this just me or does anyone else experience what I can only imagine (and hope) are hormonal imbalances that screw with your perception of yourself and everyone and everything around you?

2 comments:

"As We Speak" said...

You are not alone! I am very familiar with mood swings...mostly hormonal...sometimes from medication...always unwelcome!

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Tamara Epps said...

Thank you, I'm glad to know I'm not alone, but would obviously prefer it if none of us had to deal with it on top of everything else life throws at us.