I am just coming out of a particularly bad week. On Wednesday, while still at my bff's (that's best friend forever if you're not sure), I woke up to find that my body was refusing to move; by the end of the day (consisting of lying on the sofa) I was able to move a bit, but definitely wasn't able to go home as had been the plan. Thankfully I have a very understanding bff, who was happy for me to stay longer and look after me.
I am glad to say that was the worst day, and since then I've been slowly getting back to being able to do a little. It did get me thinking of how far I've come, though. Only a few months ago this wouldn't have been a bad week, it would have been an average week. I am now usually able to go out twice a week, rather than just the once, and I am beginning to think about adding more back into my life again. I am also in less pain on most days and more positive.
It is so easy to see how far I have left to go. Of course I am still struggling with both my physical health and my depression. I hate not being able to go out and see friends whenever I want, I hate that I need to carers to wash my hair and help me prepare dinner, I hate not having a job.
But I have improved since moving to my current flat, and I have my fingers crossed that I will keep going in that direction. I still have a long way to go, but looking back I see how much better I'm doing now than I was 6 months ago - and that gives me hope that one day I will be able to have a 'normalish' life once again.