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Monday, 7 October 2013

A Bad Week

I am just coming out of a particularly bad week.  On Wednesday, while still at my bff's (that's best friend forever if you're not sure), I woke up to find that my body was refusing to move; by the end of the day (consisting of lying on the sofa) I was able to move a bit, but definitely wasn't able to go home as had been the plan.  Thankfully I have a very understanding bff, who was happy for me to stay longer and look after me.

I am glad to say that was the worst day, and since then I've been slowly getting back to being able to do a little.  It did get me thinking of how far I've come, though.  Only a few months ago this wouldn't have been a bad week, it would have been an average week.  I am now usually able to go out twice a week, rather than just the once, and I am beginning to think about adding more back into my life again.  I am also in less pain on most days and more positive.

It is so easy to see how far I have left to go. Of course I am still struggling with both my physical health and my depression. I hate not being able to go out and see friends whenever I want, I hate that I need to carers to wash my hair and help me prepare dinner, I hate not having a job.

But I have improved since moving to my current flat, and I have my fingers crossed that I will keep going in that direction.  I still have a long way to go, but looking back I see how much better I'm doing now than I was 6 months ago - and that gives me hope that one day I will be able to have a 'normalish' life once again.

5 comments:

DoingDewey said...

Not being able to move sounds very scary! I'm glad you're doing better since then and hope you keep feeling even better :)

Hayley-Eszti Szucs said...

Small progress is good progress, I know I forget sometimes how far I have come even though really it is only small steps - it is a lot. I hope you start feeling a bit better soon and come out of this bad week soon, at least you have a wonderful BFF who helped you, where would we be without our bff's!?

Lots of Love,
Hayley-Eszti

www.hayleyeszti.blogspot.co.uk

Caroline Kirk said...

Hi Tamara,

Power to you for doing all you can to overcome the restraints of ME and to blog your feelings along the way, inspiring and helping others in similar positions.

Great you are aware of your progress, hope that it increases and accelerates.. much love & blessings, Caroline <3

Angeli said...

Just wanted to give you a virtual hug. This is Angeli from Leonie's ABLA.

Tamara Epps said...

Thanks for the comments.

DoingDewey - not being able to move terrified me the first time it happened. Luckily it doesn't happen too often now and I've found the best way is to just relax and try to sleep through it.

Hayley - We have to notice the small improvements as otherwise it can get far too overwhelming. And having bffs definitely helps.

Caroline - Thanks for your encouragement, I really appreciate it.

Angeli - Thank you so much for the hug, glad to 'meet' you.