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Thursday, 11 February 2010

The Princess and The Frog and Marriage

I have never really understood marriage - to me the thought of staying with one person for the rest of your life is just unnatural but I'm beginning to realise I'm in the minority here. I'm not anti-marriage. I just don't really believe in it. And that's probably because way too many people are getting divorced - if people really worked at marriage when it got tough rather than just getting away from one another, perhaps I would have more faith in it (or at least the people who partake in it). You might not realise it but I actually know happily married people - my parents for example, they are still together (insane definitely). So for those people who put in the effort then marriage is fine.

But this post isn't really about my views on marriage (or it wasn't intending to be). I'd rather discuss how society sees marriage. Marriage is what everyone is supposed to want - these days you can have it all but marriage is part of the package. I went to see The Princess and The Frog, the new Disney film, and have to say I was disappointed. Not in the idea of love and la-de-da but of what Disney said about marriage.

Basically they set the story in the modern day. The heroine of the piece has spent her entire life working hard to achieve her dream of owning a restaurant and goes as far as to ignore her Mother who tells her "You can't be happy on your own" (that was a bad enough statement in itself). But when she falls in love she realises that her dream would mean nothing without a husband in the picture. (If I just ruined the story I'm sorry but it is Disney so did you really expect them not to end up together?) So basically Disney are telling all little girls out there that nothing is as important as marriage and even if you have a successful career your life will mean nothing if you are not married. This infuriates me. Like I'm said, I'm not anti-marriage. But surely the whole point of equality and feminism is about the chance to CHOOSE your life. I think everyone should be allowed to have the life that they deserve - that means if you work hard at what you want then you deserve it (if you just expect it to land in your lap then that's another matter).

I also happen to believe that no one should 'have it all' but that's another post.

And one other thing about that film - why are tarot readers always the bad guy?

Sorry if that came out as a bit of a rant but seriously, what was the point of getting equal rights if we're still being told our lives our meaningles without marriage? (And this from America who won't let certain people get married because of their sexual prefereces - grow up and accept everyone for who they are already).


Julie P said...

Hi, Bethany,

Everyone has such widely differing views about marriage and that's fine. Personally I've been married for thirteen years this March (unlucky for some!!) Mind you when I was your age (oh my word I'm sounding like my mother here!) Marriage was the last thing on my mind too!

Marriage is hard work and it isn't easy! It has to be worked at and yes, the relationship does change over the years. I agree that too many people give up on their marriage too easily and aren't prepared to work at it and that's sad - but up to them.

I want to see that film too - or rather my daughter does! I think people should be left to make their own minds up about marriage. If they want to get married then do it, and if they don't - don't! Each to their own!

Julie xx

Anna R. Williams said...

(SO sad... Just wrote a long comment, and the page shut down.)

I agree with you about the film, disney set unrealistic emphasis on the concept that "love + marriage = happiness."

I'm a believer in love and marriage that lasts a lifetime, so I have some problems with how America is treating marriage vows like cars: Its new, fun and shiny at the beginning and without care and maintenance (and self sacrifice! Oh my!) it falls apart. People just dispose and replace on a whim.

I'd be interested in watching a film about the Frog Princess, ten years later...

Unknown said...

Don't get me wrong - I like the concept of real marriage (to me, real marriage is when the two people work hard at it - it isn't rosy and wonderful, but they stick by each other) but it just worries me what children are being subconsciously taught when they watch films like this (it's almost as good as taking away the choice by putting pressure on things that aren't that important).